??? (Don't know what to title this anymore)

Wanting to actually be depressed now that I don't feel depressed.

So today I actually felt unusually okay.

No monsters, no murders, a pretty day.

But I, myself, used to a world full of gray,

attempted to send my happiness away.

Harsh and hateful, the way I bullied me.

With insults and shame to I would agree.

Tried to sting myself like a killer bee,

tried to drown myself in the beaufort sea.

None of it worked, I still felt fairly fine,

no matter how much water went into these lungs of mine,

or how much I consumed of a dangerous alkaline.

So I will have to sit here and whine, wait for my time.

Author's Note

I don't really like how this turned out. I hope it receives some constructive criticism.

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

I don't think that addiction to poor mental health describes the feeling being described. The feeling described here is one of self-sabotage which is/can be a symptom OF poor mental health. It's like a person with a broken leg saying I'd like it if I were immobile. An interesting write all the same.

[Pandy]

I agree. I wasn't really happy with the title when I first came up with it. Thank you for telling me though! It helps!

[andrew mitchell]

had nice flow like an old nursery rhyme and that style those rhymes had with wicked humour, and self bullying. yes! more of a disease than an addiction is poor mental health.

[Sapientiam]

This is just my opinion, but I think this actually describes how resilient you have become through your struggles with depression. I don't have any mental disorders, so I could just be talking nonsense. However... The fact that you're trying to steal your own happiness to feel sorrow beyond anyone else's, and your inability to manifest that depressed state of mind sort of shows the strength of your soul. These are just my thoughts and I apologize for not being constructive. To be honest... I don't know exactly how to give constructive criticism that well. Regardless, I found this poem interesting. Great job!

[Pandy]

I really love your interpretation of this! Perhaps I was stronger than I thought. Also no worries! I don't expect everybody to give a review with constructive criticism. Thank you for the review, though!