Above this placid lake

The title of the poem is actually the first line.

Above this placid lake
Where no light shines
Everywhere you turn is
Empty blackened space and
Pure water soaks you through
And through.
 

Come hither, I dare you
Peel off this molding, rotten skin
Slice deep into the meat of the chest
Crack open this rusty heart-cage
Pour out nothing and night-water
From turgid flesh
As I soaked through
And through
The ages, lying in forever
Pumping out this
Black as pitch
Space, this untouched lake
Running over your hands
Down your wrist, down your arm
Down and
Forever, I am a dead pit
Where sounds bubble out
Roiling words of spit
Into the wind and say
Again, I'm lost and hurt
Me til I bleed out this black
Hole

Author's Note

Any thoughts?

I found a perfect picture! I edited it without permission, I don't claim any copyright. From: http://www.pbs.org/pov/betrayal/film_description.php

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear CynFall,

This is a very interesting piece with loads of desperation. For me the pace of the poem was one of its most interesting aspects. The poem pulled me in and raced me forward. That is what heightened the sense of desperation and the need to wash everything away and to become clean again.

Very nice.

Best regards,

Rick

[Chirpy!]

first, a celebration, I actually made it to this poem without reading everything else first!!!
Second, HOLY SAINT FRANCIS!!! this is amazing.

I lOVE your writing
tag

(FACT: shakespeare said "holy saint Francis" before me)

[JadedSparrow]

"Forever, I am a dead pit
Where sounds bubble out
Roiling words of spit
Into the wind and say
Again, I'm lost and hurt
Me til I bleed out this black
Hole"

You had me at the very beginning of this piece. I truly enjoy the bleak and ominous feel that overtook me I as I continued to read. The despair was enough to make my heart sink, not that it isnt already in a very dark place. Saying all that to say this...Bravo. I look forward to reading more of your work.

JS

[~angelalala~]

this is an interesting piece. dark & vivid images. i like it.