Son of Shatan

Oh! Pride of humanity,
Look at the garbage on the
land of the Moon.
Oh! Ego of humanity,
By the virtue of which
you held the Son of God yourself.
Look at the space full of garbage,
Look at the land of Mars.
All the elements are
signatures of Satan.
Do you still dare to call
yourself offspring of God?
Have you ever asked Land?
Have you ever asked water?
Have you ever asked space?
Have you ever asked planets?
Have you ever asked elements?
Prove your testimony
to be a creature of sovereignty.
You wrote scriptures
and laws in your favor,
and declared yourself supreme.

Reviews

[JayG]

• Look at the garbage on the land of the Moon.

Wait...you’re upset over a bit of left junk on the surface of an un-liveable planetoid? Who’s inconvenienced? The rocks? Moon-maids?

• All the elements are signatures of Satan.

So the mythological king of the underworld has a plan to place debris on uninhabited planets, because...?

You ignore that the same technology that makes it possible to create this and other sites where you spout this.

• Do you still dare to call yourself offspring of God?

Nope. I’m the offspring of mom and dad. It looks like your letter to...to whoever, was misdirected and landed on this website. Or, perhaps you were hoping that Satin is a member here? In any case, there seems to be a bit of confusion at your end.

In any case, it’s kind of hard to creditably rail against the very technology you’re using to rail against it.

[DK.DK]

in deed you are so , but see condition of earth, sea and space all are being polluted for serving the end of lust of humanity you are kind , you are great but you can not understand this. so pls ignore it.

[DK.DK]

after all, you pay kind look to my creation thanks a lot

[JayG]

Had you used the skills and methodology of the poet, the things I mentioned would probably have been edited out.

Remember, your intent for how the reader should take the words doesn't make it to the page. So the reader has what your words suggest TO THEM, based on THEIR life-experience.

But using the skills of poetry, you would know HOW to phrase it to have the reader understand the words as you intend.

Remember, they've been refining the skills for poetry for centuries. So, take advantage of that and you stand on the shoulders of giants. Skip that step and you rediscover the traps they long ago learned to avoid—never noticing that it happened.

An excellent place to begin is with Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook.

https://dokumen.pub/a-poetry-handbook-0156724006.html

Another useful resource is the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled.

In any case, while I agree about the pollution, a but of tech left on a dead planet probably wasn't the best choice of illustration.

[DK.DK]

thanks a lot for such a kindness