Once Upon A Nightmare

What happened to once upon a time?

Once upon a time

I remember when 

Everything was perfect,

When we got along

And when our  loved showed

Once upon a nightmare

I remember when you said

I wasn't good enough,

It was like you stabbed 

Me in the heart

And all my blood, sweat

And tears flooded the floor

Once upon a time,

I remember when

You told me you loved me,

Once upon a nightmare

That love flew out 

The window...

I wasn't important to you

Like I use to be

You found someone else

You left me crying

And heartbroken...

Aching for you,

A sudden rage to find you

And hurt you!

But now during this time,

There's someone else...

Who isn't a b***h like you

And now its you wanting 

To relive the past...

But it's too late.....

Hahaha... Looks like a nightmare for you!!

Author's Note

The ending is different than I expected. I hope you like it anyway.

Reviews

[Chris]

Hi Ta'Sha,

Everything is soooooooo intense - no shades of gray... WHITEST white, BLACKEST black. LOVE is just a YESSS!! and being hurt is sooooo WRONG!!! and its beyond belief that anyone could GASP!!! DISS-you... if you hurt its ok? to want to hurt another or to just 'bring-it'... and the plans of revenge are just sooooooooooo satisfying.

But damn, you still hurt when you get home, and at night your mind still can't quite wrap itself around the why's and the feelings that flow inside... just before you find yourself asleep. Lifes a pure Biatch... sometimes... isn't it?

[Cassiopia Summers]

Great write. And the ending is just perfect even if it isn't what you expected. Great job!

[Venompen]

Okay, wow. I'm not normally a poetry kind of guy, but this is intense. If you ironed out the rythm a bit, you could put it to music. It sounds like something Rihanna or Katy Perry would sing.

[Silent Knight]

Very nice, and a nice unique form. I like it.

[Krystal Nicole]

haha. . I loved the ending. . Great work!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

most definitely a different ending............quite unexpected. Karma rolls round........

[James Snaith]

I love the use of colour – the way it defines the two states of mind. You capture those two states very nicely – and very simply: from the wonderful to hurt and confused.

Nice work.

[LadyNaida]

I understand what you expressed in this poem. The ending twist is unexpected indeed. But if you think about it, life is a bowl of unexpected things and we are the only ones that can make a change. Very good write!

[nevermindfan1991]

I love it! I love this poem. I'm not exaggerating, this poem was wonderful. It flowed so well and flawlessly. I also loved your choice of color-coding to convey your anger, and your transition between the dream and the nightmare. Another one of my favorites!

[Robert Kahil]

I did love the ending as everyone else. However, I think the "One upon a nightmare" stanzas flowed much better. There was also a sort of flare. Oh and "Are" at the end of the first stanza should be "Our" if I'm not mistaken. Great work!