On My Mind

Realizing a special evening is...

I see us holding hands

Taking a walk down the beach,

To a candle lit dinner

While looking at the beautiful sunset

Its you, the only one

On my mind,

Time passes and I only

Want to be with you

Our names written in the sand...

I smile,

You smile,

You brush your hand against my face

We stare into each others eyes

I twist and turn realizing that it

Was just a dream

But you're still on my mind

And I smile at the thought

Of what I hope we can be

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[Buddhistboy73]

Ok, so being brutally honest, there were a couple of places where I thought the poem lost its flow. However, you do a good job of conjuring up the imagery in the readers mind, taking them on the journey which presumably played out in your mind as you wrote this.....and for that, it's enjoyable for me....thanks for sharing..

[eighwoeifj]

Very sweet, though the rhythm is a little off, it's still a very nice poem.

[Star Wolf]

I really like this. Dreaming about the one you want, how wonderful it could be if only. A sweet tender romantic dream. I think this is excellent work and I sure enjoyed reading it!

[BrynnaW.]

I didn't think it lost it's flow. Just saying and bringing out my opinion on that act. It was a very well written poem. I enjoy reading it! Good job! Keep on writing!

[sarah]

Wow I feel this way right now! this is so sweet and romantic!! Great write! I really enjoyed it

[biggerthenu]

BEAUTIFUL POEM I LIKE IT

[misha]

This is really nice. I love th flow of this peice. great job!

[Little Drama Queen]

I really liked this poem. It was really sweet :)

[Safe&sound<3 ♫]

its very sweet and nicely set up(:

[joshua deathdealer]

I like it!! Nicely constructed.