Broken Petal

My take on he loves me he loves me not.

I love it when you call me beautiful,

But I hate it when you say I'm ugly

I love it when you hold my hand,

And hate it when you don't take me around your friends

I love it when you hold me close,

But hate it when you say you need space

I love you

And I hate you

I want to be with you,

But I feel like I'm selling myself short

Love should be a two way street

And if your not with me

I must be better off without you

So I count my petals

One by one

It says I love you not ...

Author's Note

This has nothing to do with me, I just wrote it. Hope you like it.

Reviews

[LA Lorena]

He loves me, he loves me not. This made me wonder more if the protagonist loved herself enough to cut the tie with someone who treated her so poorly. I'm glad she wises up at the end!

I could be way off base here, (I know you were playing with format here, and being creative,) but by having the last stanza in such small lettering and so compacted, it gives the illusion that her words lack real conviction. I think it would make more impact for her words to get stronger and bolder. Just MHO.

[Jessica]

i felt more towards the end. the beginning didnt have the same ring to it. But another well written piece. smart words.

[Janice Ann]

Well, just a note for you...this is very powerful! Too often we settle for less than we deserve or ...this is for those people...take that to the bank! Great write!

[Chris]

Ta'Sha,

Some wise thoughts...
Well said.

Chris

[J.]

Okay, I like how you essentially have two stanzas of different sizes that show that you are changing it up. I don't like the change in color between the love-hate lines. Its obnoxious because it distracts from the poem. Maybe a different way of spacing, like the lines about you hating him could be tabbed over so the love lines stop at one point or something.
"I love it when you hold me close,

But hate it when you say you need space."
I like the double space in the first stanza because it does show space between the two feelings. Keep writing.

[Jibin]

Wonderful, interesting and i felt this piece as little much row in the last. :)

[DontBlink158]

the classic flower of fate.... i really liked it and its a great take on the i love you, i love you not

[Mariah Jane]

This is fabulous! I like the idea here. Its fun and inventive. Great use of the idea ;)

[Daytonight]

Very well done as always! Love the Loves Me, Loves Me Not theme. Keep on penning.

[Coyote Poetry]

Real love would never call his love ugly. Real love treat their love with kindness. Would do anything to make them happy. A very strong poem. Young love is different. Words need to be meaningful and must we be careful what we say and do. I like the ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Just Cat]

Beautiful, sad, and relatable.
It takes a strong person to cut ties with someone who's selling you short. I think I need to take your wise words to heart!
Brilliant :)