Short list, Dual personality

1. A short one to a drinker may mean one finger instead of two fingers. Good, Good.

2. Look at the short kid over there. Yes, that's good.

3. You shortchanged me. I can't remember what my English teacher said two words combined were. She was mean, she used to say I was a little short on brains. I guess we can use that.

4.  A little short on brains? Why? Well, aren't you?

5.  A shorty to a beer drinker. That's twice with the alcohol. So, one is beer with hops, the other has corn mash. Oh, I guess there're different. 

6.  Short time vs long time. That sounds kind of suggestive. No, it's not, now if I put, GI with it then maybe, but you would have to know what it means. Alright we'll keep it, if it gets past the censors.

7.  Short arm inspection. All the Military people are laughing, well, at least the guys. I think I'm going to go up and turn the mature audience sign on. Wait a minute we'll push it just a little farther. Okay if you say so. But I'm going to deny everything.

8.  Short on Umbrage. What's that? I don't know! Sounds good. Okay another keeper.

9.   Short on Integrity. You're talking about Politicians? Damm Right!

10.  I got one, Short on Brains. Politicians again? Yes. But that's like, what my English teacher said about me. No, she said a Little short on Brains. Politicians are a lot short on Brains.  Sounds good. I think we're done. But I have one more to make eleven. No, I think we'll stay with ten. God only has ten, you don't want to piss God off do you, making him look like he couldn't come up with one more. No, I guess not. What was your number eleven? It was Short Tempered. Wait a minute I have an idea. Put it down as number eleven. Okay.

11.   Short Tempered. Good. Now cross it out. Great now we'll offer it to God. Maybe he'll catch the hint, Crotchety old man threatening us with hell fire. I'm going to go hide out for a few days just in case he does get pissed at us. Can I come with you?

No, I think we should split up. But then we wouldn't be Dual, we'd be Singular. That's okay, it's just for a few Days. Okay. Meet back here a week from Sunday. Do you mean Saturday? Yes, that's right God will be tired by then, he'll want to rest on that day.

Stay cool Brother. You to.      

   

     

  

Reviews

[ETERNITY]

Hi Randall, Now, when it comes to God, me and Vol, we happen to be the experts, lol. I'm thinking God lets us find out s**t by making our own mistakes.
The Major Ten...we can ask for forgiveness innumerable times, just be sure to.
I adore your metaphors throughout.
It shows me you are on good terms with the crotchety old man...oops, sorry 'bout that, Hey-Zeus! (My nickname for Jesus...He LOLs that one!

[Randall]

Thank you, Enternity. Modern Man's God serves up the same s**t at the school cafeteria as the Gods of Greek Mythology did.

Randall...

[ETERNITY]

I think it's all as simple as John 3:16. Everything beyond that is clutter to complicate.

[Randall]

You are right, "Greater love hath no man..."
Or perhaps the teachings and life of Jesus. The rest is just a version of people's history. Mixed in with the desire of men to control the lives of others.

[ETERNITY]

It's beautiful that you chose that scripture to post. I forget we are supposed to love our fellow human no matter what. Thanks, Randall.

[Thomas W Case]

Smart, loose, irreverent, and confident enough to let the humor do the work without forcing a punchline.

[Randall]

Thomas, thank you. Your review says everything I was going for.
Keep looking up, it's out there somewhere.

Randall...

[Curly Grace]

Randall, your dual personalities absolutely crack me up. Only you could turn the word short into a full comedy sketch with God, politicians, and beer drinkers all fighting for attention. I adore the way your mind wanders, and the way it always circles back to make me smile. Stay cool, Brother? You know I will… especially for you.

[Randall]

I hear the Skies grumbling. Don't go out in the rain and lightning.

[Curly Grace]

It's just that they're jealous, that's all. Not everyone has your words; we all can't be a muse...