The Holocaust Inside

The future isn't as bright as we'd hoped. Science Fiction

I've seen the future about five

miles east of here. Behind stylish

curls, within Sybilline brown in pearl

eyes, a miniature world writhes

and cries to the beat of children

pounding drumhead skin with hand-ground

ladles. Their tears clump the dust made

centuries thick; and the starveling

earth swallows. In a blink their deaths

are grains, and she brushes the curl

aside. The holocaust inside.

Reviews

[Angela]

could almost hear the beat of the drums of antiquity......

[SpitfireGrrrl]

Amazing. I particularly liked the use of "sibylline", and that these prophecies are seen in the eyes of another.

[Sierra Lorraine]

Woah! Brilliant. The imagery pulls me right in. I was there. My favorite part was "in a blink their deaths are grains." After taking me on that journey through the emotion, the sound, the movement, it was all brushed away in an instant. It really gives me a feeling I can't explain in words. Great poem!

[Kerry O'Connor]

You really know how to work the bathos: I've seen the future about five
miles east of here...

I think this is my favourite of yours - so many intricate layers of imagery and meaning. Excellent.

[OT]

another great write!! your descriptions and imagery are brilliant!! the "Sibylline brown in pearl eyes" really stood out for me, though there are so many lines I could highlight!! an effortless write! I enjoyed this one a lot!! the only thing that jarred for me was "starveling" - the word just sat a little awkward with me, but this is truly great writing!! nice!!

[TheFemininePad]

A very deep poem that is trying to convey an excellent point. You chose some rather curious words in this poem. This reminds me of my 'Please Remember' poem I wrote. This is very different than other poems I have read. I don't see where I would improve upon it.