I wanted to write an amazing piece That was like a sock on the jaw, A classical piece like the Golden Fleece In the Gothic form of yore, But every time I am caught in rhyme In the telling of every story, And then it would have to be dark and bleak With an ending that was gory.
The heroine would be bludgeoned down By the boyfriend, who was jealous, He’d always proclaimed that his love for her Was pure, and clean, and zealous. But came the day that she looked the way Of a ripe and young Adonis, The boyfriend knew, and his anger grew, He was violent, to be honest.
The rhyme and rhythm would lead me on To describe the blood in puddles, Seeping out of her auburn hair While his mind was full of muddles. He saw the blood on the iron bar That he held, he must have hit her, But couldn’t remember the fatal strike And the thought just made him bitter.
Where could you go with a tale like that Except to the judge and jury? He put it down to the wine imbibed And brought on the judge’s fury. He watched him put on the hanging cap And he knew just what he’d got, So pulled the gun from its hiding place And that’s how the judge was shot.
I’d like to say he was on the run But a tale like that’s suspicious, How would he vault the wooden dock In a place that’s so judicious? The sergeant actually gunned him down To lie on the courtroom floor, A pool would spread as he lay there dead, Stretched out in his blood and gore.
And that’s where we’ll have to leave it now For lack of a decent ending, It wasn’t such an amazing piece And I know it’s needed mending. But rhyme and metre has bogged me down To give a twist to my story, I’ll try to do better next time around With a tale that’s not so hoary.
Yes, I too, am guilty of shackling myself with rhyme and meter. But then, rhyme and meter sometimes appear to rescue a poem that is going nowhere. I love your work, whether rhyming or not. The things I like most are the imagery, the smooth flow, and the fact that your pieces have beginning, body, and ending.
This is a cool sideways view of how we seem to slip into our own groove that we know so well despite ourselves. Horses for courses comes to mind DLP.
We all have our preferences where we feel most comfortable and to me that's when we do our best.
This here's for proof.
Funny how rhyme and meter seem so ingrained in some of us that whenever we try to tell a story it automatically becomes a poem. Brilliant as Always, David!
Blood and gust. Sell books and movies. I enjoyed your thoughts and words in this one. Wicket twist make the reader want more. I hope you are doing well my friend. I have been reading some of your work on the Facebook. Have fun and be safe.
Coyote