Always On

Car headlights pass over me but I swear they're spotlights-

Who do you think that was?

Maybe it was her, 

glaring.

What would she even look like now?

Would she even see me?

D'you thin-

Okay stop that now.

Put one foot in front of the other-

Head down, don't look like you're staring-

But head up, don't let them think you're sad.

Walk straight, you're meandering again.

It's not hard:

Walk.

Walk walk walk.

Nearly there so we'll do a few more steps-

Engage your core

Squeeze your glutes

But don't let anyone see you tensing, it's weird-

But it's an extra few calories, maybe?

It's extra definition

It's the chance at a new part, maybe

The chance of a new me

'You look so different!'

Say it again, but don't say it

Don't say it, I should know it-

My clothes don't fit-

I pulled everything out of my closet for this-

Everything I grab is just too big-

no, no, no, not anymore, no-

God, did I really used to wear this?

Was I really that big?

Was I really wandering about with-

Stop it, walk

Jesus Christ just walk

One foot in front of the other-

Does he-

Walk-

Should I-

Walk-

What if I just-

one

foot

in front

of the other

Home

I'm back!

No, not too cold.