' R '

Encounters with the spirit

There's a cafe … at the mall here … that's fashioned in the Malay style architecture. Its a bit of the old world charm … in this country … when the colonialists … lived in large wooden bungalows … with a verandah … and ceiling fans circling over head. It where I met my sister yesterday ( the youngest ) … and her two daughters. She's been dropping by from time to time … and inquires into my health. I expect her main interest is in … why I broke away from my brothers and sisters … to go it alone … over the last 40 years.

Families make up a large part … of the pre-occupation of a man. His family … represents to him … relations at close quarters … that defy criticisms … and is subtly bonded … beyond the ability of the mind to understand. Its us … in our dreams … and it represents in a sense … the only world we know … within the circle of the passions. Curiously … in coming to know the world better … within the solar system of 9 planets … and comparing that to 9 members of my family … including my parents … it forms curious coincidences.

In my recent experience … with the baptism of the spirit ( see Wonderboeck ) … I came to name the spirit as ' R.' Whenever I sit everywhere … outside the house … I encounter the personality of ' R ' … like an ephemeral reflection of my being … posturing herself as the personality of the physical world around me. We speak to each other … and she continues to inspire me in my thoughts … and my perceptions of the world. It is … in a manner of speaking … the family … home and the world … that relates to the delicate way … in which I try to make a coherent view … of my experiences.

Sitting around the table at the cafe … in the company of 3 … gorgeous and witty ladies … ' R ' turned into a reconnoitre of jokes and laughter … that appeared to pit … the personal nature of the individual … against the impersonal nature of the physical world. But more than that … it brought into closer focus … the view of my sister … the youngest in the family … who merely saw me and my brothers … as so many heads … who made all the decisions … that she had tagged along with in her youth.

From her perspective … the experience of 5 older brothers … who grew into professional positions … became a defining perspective of her personality and world. Today at … 50+ years of age … her own children … grown into professional positions … she's beginning to inquire … what its been all about. Her personality … has always been of the child … and it occurred to me as I met her at the cafe … that she must be wondering about her own growth … into maturity as woman and mother. Hence her curiousity about my separation from the wife … and break from the family … to pursue a course of self understanding and knowledge … was growing into a central tenet of her life.

I had referred her to my writings at WC … but she responded that … ' it was over the top ' … for her. So we sat there at the cafe … and I told them the story of the … ' Legend of the Hearth ' … my book … that is featured at WC. That induced the laughter and jokes … amidst their nods and smiles … that affirmed their own relation to the story … of one Charles Mohan … who is of Irish and Indian parentage … and is professor of anthropology … at UCLA.

When we left the cafe … she inquired again about my financial condition. My books have not found a publisher … and I've been relying on my savings … which at this time is low. I recently went on a crowdfunding campaign in India … to see if I might find some sponsorship. So far … it has not been encouraging. So I agreed to … borrow some funds from her … until I am able to fund myself. ' To be repaid when able ' … is the condition we made … about the funds.

After they left … I took a walk to the park … and encountered ' R ' … shimmering through the trees … and obviously very pleased with herself. She has been telling me that … my writings are best conveyed through … word of mouth … for the faith and learning … and it should not form … another book … written by a … la-di-da author about life. I agree with that assessment … and hope that I'll be able to continue to communicate my passions. It does set aside any … deviations … arising from financial success.

We are all in that way … met by the enormous nature of life … in the way it expresses itself through … the varied instruments … with which we come to understand them. But to be able to bring a rationale sense of cognition … about these impulses and their purpose … is certainly a rare treat in life … it is priceless. My writings have so far attracted … a readership of about … 1000 people … both here in WC and at Blogger. It certainly is a gradual process … of reaching the reader in their own growth. And the fact that … I undertake it … in the living experience of my own growth … makes for a greater reality … about its content. Yaaaaah! … forget the book. I like it this way.

On ' youtube' … a person encounters the media circus … that gathers around authors … like Dawkins … Maher … Carlin … and so forth … and I always feel that … its much too hasty … in the way … their message is translated by the press and the public. I don't believe anybody gained any understanding … that way. It is the thoughts … that the reader experiences … and conveys that to their own life … as if to say … that one life lived someplace … is much like their own … that matters. It connects us … in a circle of fellowship … about the common truths of life.

' R ' stirs … as if to say … I have become far too attached … to my former lifestyle … and the perks that came with it. She even challenges me to speak … of my present circumstances … in a world in which … I used to think … I was already accomplished and stable. It would be a good message to my sister … as she struggles to deal with giants from her life. We all start over again … and nothing is so fixed … as to resist changes … that promises us a gentler … more harmonious way of life. They are … after all … about the choices we make.

Reviews

[Solar]

I was drawn into the narrative which conveyed to me the tribulations of a writer seeking to be published, the family support network - how it displays a creative resilience, a reflection on the compromises made in publishing to a wider audience 'the media circus'. What I am curious about is the ... as they have a jarring effect after sometime - perhaps that is just my reaction. A few ...here ...and there might have more impact?

[Dayran]

I hear you Solar. In the matter of individual effort ... a person is likely to think he ought to prove his self worth alone ... free from any leaning on someone else. I used to think that. But I'm also looking at the fact that my work is related to the family ... with the people I was born with.

Turns out ... my sister needed for me to bring to her my narratives. It helps her and is a part of the events in her life as part of the family. That wouldn't have happened if I had stuck to my guns for going it alone. Sometimes its strange in that way.

Did you encounter something similar?

[Solar]

What I can relate to is that the creative process can become an ivory prison. For others, the writer becomes a distant tower with no connection to life as it is lived. But with the meeting of minds, the writer is able to help others change their narrative and point of view.

[Dayran]

You got that right!