Sleeping On A Rainless Cloud To Heaven

The beautiful rain,

falls hard tonight.

A reminder to forget such

a terrible life.

 

I wish for permanent dormancy,

My never ending comatose.

My never ending torpidity.

My never ending end.

 

The rain seeps through my

soul.

Erasing my scars,

Washing my

stains and stripping me from all

 my pain. 

 

As the wet ground cradles

me and sings

 an angelic lullaby.

I give unto you

world my final goodbye.

Author's Note

Sorry I justed realized the "a give unto you" part.
Sorry people typo fixed

Reviews

[Kho-San]

Umm, I dunno, I'm not a really good judge of poems, especially in my bad mood right now :/

[Holly O'Brien]

This is a sensitive poem, very calming in a sense. It's easy to be consoled by the beauty of nature and I like the way you portrayed that in this poem. Beautifully written, woefully untold.

[Aarontastic]

There are a lot of things I like about this poem, but one line confused me a bit: in the second to last line in it, why does it say "a give unto you"? Is that just a typo, or did you actually mean to put that there? Idk but either way it seems a bit incongruous with the rest of the sentence.

Anywayyy, I did like this poem quite a bit. The structure of it reminds me a bit of what I go for in my own work--it's un-rhymed so you can use exotic words and arrange the sentences however you want, and it variates its form throughout (like between the first and second stanzas). I really liked the imagery in the third and fourth stanzas, but my favorite was the second one; I liked the repetitive "my never ending" thing a lot, and the line "I wish for a permanent dormancy". Good job =]

[Damon Favreau]

"soul.Erasing my scars,Washing my" You forgot spaces after the period and comma.
"stains and striping me from all" the word 'striping' should be spelt as 'stripping'
"a give unto you" I think you mean "I give unto you"
Great poem full of emotion :)

[Awkward]

Thank you for sharing, very interesting read.

"The rain seeps through my
soul.Erasing my scars,Washing my
stains and striping me from all
my pain."

Favorite stanza of the whole poem.

[Joey Irwin]

This is very EMO I love it.
Your poetry is brilliant :D Keep it up :)