The Sadness

The Sadness       

   

              Closing in like an eclipse on a sunny day

              bright with future remaining the figment

              of my imagination left with murky interpretation 

              Beauty is a fading blackness that surrounds

              empty spaces, walls closing, life imploding

              as does my view holding tight to every memory

              through the mind is a pin hole of light half

              filled with hope just enough to hold on to

              Run fast towards the opening before the dimming

             tell the stories write it all down before the 

             dark takes over ascending like a virus .....

             climb out of the dark emptiness stomping out

             the sadness.

              Deborah Kelly ( Debbie Philly) 9/24/13   

Reviews

[Writer #00]

Wow. You conveyed so much emotion through what seemed like a single emotion, finding the hope in despair; illustrating the fear sorrow can bring expertly. The layout of the stanzas, flowing from one line to the next, created (for me) a sense of fluidity and, simultaneously, confusion as the sparse punctuation caused difficulty of navigation. This added to the "walls all around" feeling depression is wont to give. The picture you chose fits well, a display of the closing analogy, the light of hope (red dress and lips) seen through a pinhole in the dark (black and white background and character). Absolutely magnificent, I'll have to add this to my library.

[Debbie_Philly]

WOW Writer I'm overwhelmed by your generous comment... thank you very much... I cant tell you how much it means to me that you liked it and got something from it :) Thank you again !!

[Writer #00]

No problem, it is a pleasure to read.

[ANM]

Darkness envelops us all at times... well written!

[Debbie_Philly]

Very true ANM..... it can indeed !!

[ANM]

You are most welcome!

[Rita L. Sev]

That "pin hole of light half filled with hope" is sometimes all we have... and all we need. The emotions come through clearly here, Debbie, and the ray through the gloom is the power of the pen... Well and deeply written.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much Rita for reading .... it means allot to me...you are 100% right about that... thank God for the pin holes.... and the light that streams through :)

[KAin]

Writing becomes the new arena. We're given a blank page and we're free to do with it whatever we want.
Sometimes it becomes the stage for our new victories. It's also a place for 'what ifs' and 'might-have-beens'
There's catharsis in penning sadness and despair.
There's hope in the very essence of the blank page itself.
A dark and beautiful poem. Nicely done!

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much Landred what a beautiful comment... and I very much agree... this was not only inspired by my own feelings but funny enough I was listening to a soundtrack that I sent my son of a fav movie from his childhood.... the second song was about the sadness.... no words... all instrumental.... and so I picked up my pen... thank you again for reading and feeling the piece its much appreciated :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is really gloomy...we try to write out of the depression...sometimes even that doesn't work...

blue but nicely written...

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you Jacob.... I try and be up beat in my writing but sometimes the ink just bleeds the way it wants to :) Thank you again so much for reading !!

[Emily B]

i feel this, some days i could drown in the darkness

[Debbie_Philly]

I'm sorry Emily..... I know it can be overwhelming.... thank God for the pen.... write it out and get it out.... and know that there is a light at the end... at least thats what keeps me going.. :) Thank you again so much for reading hun !!

[Emily B]

i think the latest installment of my pity party is over :) no time to wallow

[Baby Ricochet]

Very powerful write. Depression blows. That's for sure.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you Baby R.... you not kidding about that... thank you again for reading and commenting.. means allot !! :)

[Frieda P]

I can feel the life draining out by the end of this poem, yet it still has a hopeful ring to it. Nicely pen'd Debbie, I like how one stanza drops into the next, as if all the thoughts jumble together.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much for reading Frieda.... yes sometimes the sadness can overwhelm... but you have to hold onto hope... thank you again for the love :)

[Frieda P]

Believe me, I know...sometimes Hope seems like a four letter word though ;-) x

[Jack...]

I can feel the sadness drenching me as I read this fine poem. You have taken our hearts down this dark road and somehow pointed us towards the light, though small and dim, still it offers a chance to escape. Very nice Debbie.

When I read the title I thought you may be writing about The Eagles. :)

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you Jack for reading and Thank you for making me laugh...lol It could be about the Eagles....;) Funny thing is... although this about me the inspiration came from a very funny place.... I was listening to the sound track of a movie... and the song inspired this :) Thank you again for commenting

[icelandicblue]

Depression and sadness are indeed dark and murky companions. I like the stanza where you urge us to look toward hope;

through the mind is a pin hole of light half
filled with hope just enough to hold on to
Run fast towards the opening before the dimming

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much for reading ice.... that stanza reflects hope even in a small way... because with out it... life would not matter .. thank you again !! :)

[Epipsychologist]

Good write. The scariest thing, to me, about death is the notion that whatever I'm experiencing, I probably won't remember life, and the things I loved, or the things that loved me. There's beauty in that too, though, and I think this gets at that.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much Epipsy.... I agree...I m guessing it would make it much easier... sad to say !! :)