And you got all that from horse trough or at least "horse". He does have to eat from somewhere, so I guess manger will suffice as it is a synonym for trough. Clever. Maybe I should challenge you with the words "spicy burrito" next time. Ok, I think the only thing that has been proven is that you have been holding out on us and poetry is not a waste of your time. {insert smiley face emoji of your choice} I know we kid each other and I can wax on about the typical imagery, metaphor, and all that stuff, but I think this could be published easily. That's my highest compliment. CD
BTW--At first reading I could've swore you had some type of meter scheme going.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks for your generous comment. I wrote a "short story" that more completely addressed your promp.. read moreThanks for your generous comment. I wrote a "short story" that more completely addressed your prompt, although it too was addressed sideways. The poem was an afterthought when it occurred to me you had not specified what form you expected. I probably would have passed up "spicy burrito" by the way.
7 Years Ago
I didn't expect any type of particular form. I'm just used to pulling off my shoes and counting syl.. read moreI didn't expect any type of particular form. I'm just used to pulling off my shoes and counting syllables.
"fall like silk"? Sounded right when writ maybe as a person rises on a stairway his hand seems to.. read more"fall like silk"? Sounded right when writ maybe as a person rises on a stairway his hand seems to falls rather than rise relatively speaking it's relatively confusing. Probably had something to do with underpants and now I simply can't remember. Damn shame too.
7 Years Ago
Railings, newels and banisters age well with use - silken smooth to the touch...
so wonderful you are with words my friend. Wonderful.....just wonderful./dana
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks Dana I read all you post. I wish I was not nonplussed every time. By nonplussed I mean blow.. read moreThanks Dana I read all you post. I wish I was not nonplussed every time. By nonplussed I mean blown away.
I really liked this. It opens as a sort of passage of time, then slips you into a memory. I loved all the touch sensations you layered in here which build up to a wonderful closing line at the end. Not sure the title does it justice, but truly enjoyed this piece.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks for reading. The title is definitely lacking in curb appeal.
I absolutely love this poem. There is a sense of vintage love for wood, but the rich vocabulary lured me in, and made me read again. And again and once more. You possess sophistication with simplicity in this. Admirably scribed.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
I am so pleased by your gracious comment. It makes me happy that I have , for you, created the illu.. read moreI am so pleased by your gracious comment. It makes me happy that I have , for you, created the illusion of "rich vocabulary" and sophistication" with nouns, verbs, one simile and three or four modifiers.
And you got all that from horse trough or at least "horse". He does have to eat from somewhere, so I guess manger will suffice as it is a synonym for trough. Clever. Maybe I should challenge you with the words "spicy burrito" next time. Ok, I think the only thing that has been proven is that you have been holding out on us and poetry is not a waste of your time. {insert smiley face emoji of your choice} I know we kid each other and I can wax on about the typical imagery, metaphor, and all that stuff, but I think this could be published easily. That's my highest compliment. CD
BTW--At first reading I could've swore you had some type of meter scheme going.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks for your generous comment. I wrote a "short story" that more completely addressed your promp.. read moreThanks for your generous comment. I wrote a "short story" that more completely addressed your prompt, although it too was addressed sideways. The poem was an afterthought when it occurred to me you had not specified what form you expected. I probably would have passed up "spicy burrito" by the way.
7 Years Ago
I didn't expect any type of particular form. I'm just used to pulling off my shoes and counting syl.. read moreI didn't expect any type of particular form. I'm just used to pulling off my shoes and counting syllables.
I like the economy of expression in this one, and also the use of imagery that links the smooth perfection of familiar things with the feel of the beloved. A very smooth piece here.
PS: Spell check smother in line 5. Also, the line at the end needs a question mark.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks for reading and for your comments, especially the PS. I had been mildly upbraided by C.D. Ca.. read moreThanks for reading and for your comments, especially the PS. I had been mildly upbraided by C.D. Campbell for sloth and he challenged me to respond to "horse trough" This was done quickly and not proofed. Obviously.
7 Years Ago
Thanks to your help those two errors are now corrected.