If it Hurts, it's Golden

If the pain is pulsing through your veins and infecting your heart, then it is pure gold.

Pain, what an amazing feeling

From the broken heart I hold to the razor blade cutting through

The pieces and the blood, my thoughts start reeling

Something so subtle can feel so calm, so thorough

You hated me from the beginning, that I know

You only showed me nothing but pain

And it made my hatred for you start to grow

But yet, I had nothing to gain

I never understood how you could take control

Never understood why my pain was your doing

I wanted to take something, something back and put it all on hold

But you kept right on going

You never wanted me to be happy

You just said these lies to appease me

Now I know you were just being sappy

To get me in the position you thought I should be

I got to thinking, while the blade cut through my skin

I got to feeling, something that felt foreign

I never thought I'd feel this again

But yet, here it was, exasperated and thin

What a small light it was in this world of dark you created

I smiled, realizing I really was the one in control here

You were just something small, figmented

And when it came to you, I had nothing to fear

You were miserable and in return wanted me to feel the same

You succeeded, you knew what to do

And I began to feel nothing but pain

In return for your love, I thought I was welcomed to do so

I cried every night in your expense

And you always knew and came to me with a sarcastic drawl

I go through fire with no common sense

And you wonder why I always seem to scowl

I now understand why you hate me so

I understand why I am at fault

I understand what you want to do

And it doesn't chill my heart

Nothing is common for you

Nothing is demanded

You're spoiled, everything handed through and through

And you want me apprehended

I now understand why I go through pain

It is like passionate, lovely gold

I understand why you have nothing to gain

For everything I now hold

I am in charge of my anguish

You are not so strong

I can do with you as ever I wish

And no pain put on me is wrong

I love these broken pieces of my heart

I love this blood you poor out

I love when the pain ends and even more when it starts

I love how everything flows, like out of a spout

You hate me even more, and I relish in it

You hurt me more than you used to

Thinking it will change me bit by broken bit

As you know nothing you can do

You give me pain as if to change me

Yet I am beginning to enjoy it, pieces for me to hold

So you accomplished yourself, you have changed me

As I know realize pain is as precious as gold.

Author's Note

Long poem. It of course has a rhyming scheme, but I did it free-verse in the fact that there was no planning to it.