Fade to Black

January 13-It never stops, does it? Those damn brats in English class always knocking my stuff over…I snapped at those idiots on the bus, so I had to make up a lie to explain my busted lip to my dad. I hate having to lie to him. I was surprised to see my dad home so early, but he was in a neck brace. He said he got injured on the job.

January 25-School was the same as always…hell. Dad said he was hurt, but I saw him walking around without the neck brace last night. This morning, he was in my room, going through my stuff. He found some love letters I’d kept from Shawn, and he lost his temper, choking me and calling me stupid. He apologized when I got home, but I don’t believe him. Stress from trying to hold the family together? Liar… I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I’m hardly sleeping anymore, the damn dogs won’t shut up at night. I hate my neighbor.

February 17-I was fired last week from the Ryan’s. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now, I can’t support our rent with one job. The kids at the school wouldn’t stop laughing at me, but what else could I do? I’ll bet if their ex’s sent them a note that said he’d kill them on Valentine’s Day, they’d want to cry, too. I hate this…I don’t know what I can do. Robby was the only cousin I could talk with, but he’s been spreading rumors about me since he found my diary. He’s so stupid…

April 19-My birthday. My dad said he remembered nobody gave me anything for Valentine’s Day, so this morning he was only trying to help me. The police are only calling it sexual assault, but I know what he did, and what he was trying to do. If he touches me again, I’ll kill him…

June 3-I talked with that boy today, Jordan. He helped me out today, but I don’t know why. My dad didn’t like him, I have a clue why. It’s not like anything’s gonna happen, he’s just going to make a mean joke out of it later, like everyone else would. Damn him and his precious flattery, I shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable talking to him. I don’t really think he’d betray me…

He gave me a ride home, and his girlfriend broke up with him for it. He’s going too far out of his way to make this joke…maybe we actually can be friends. Maybe I’m desperate and hoping for too much…

June 4-I’ve had it with this. All of it. Jordan’s ex sent her whole family at him, and I lost my composure for one second…one second, and now I’m a criminal. I lost my job, and I lost my chances of getting another one with that damn charge. I really think today that me and Jordan were coming closer…like we’ve known each other for much longer than we actually have.

I want to stay with him, but I can’t take this. I’m bringing him into my abyss now…I can’t make people I care about as miserable as I am. I heard him desperate today, I felt it in his voice. I can’t live this miserable pace, and I won’t make him try. I’m done. This is my last entry, before I make everything worse.

Reviews

[Jake Donald Stephens]

Aaah, I left a review for this before, but I guess it got lost. I know I said something about it being a really powerful statement about society, and having a brilliant ending, both of which are true.
And you know, I really, really, really hate guns, but I guess there are times when some people do need them to defend themselves. Of course, according to that argument, I guess the same has to be said about "weapons of mass destruction". We have it because they have it; they have it because we have it. Yeah.
But I digress. This is a great story, the best short story I've read lately. I love how it actually means something, and the ending with the girl's journal entries is perfect.