I Love Me First

...things i verbally refused to admit until about an hour ago. btw this is for sean

 

 

I love Me First

       Lies i tell you everytime we speak

i'm so stubborn and concited

enough to make me blinded

to the fact it's not true

because who comes first?

     you

at least to me

this crazyness and bullshit

i try to believe

....yet still i'm on my knees

your dick in my mouth

  even though you refuse to eat coochie

i'm all about....

      you

how i got here and

this life style is trife B

has me settling for relationships

less than wifey

torn up confused

worn out verbally abused

and used

just so i can love myself first...

nah dude....i love..

        you

Author's Note

ignore grammer problems...they were put there on purpose. ummmm tell me what you think..i guess

Reviews

[Kimberly]

"i try to believe

yet still i'm on my knees

your dick in my mouth

even though you refuse to eat coochie

i'm all about....

you"

I think that is the most powerful part of the poem. For me, it sums it all up. Oral sex can be the most intimate and beautiful expression of love between two partners, yet it can (as this poem shows) also be the most brutal form of degradation. In this case, the degradation comes in the form of painful emotional and physical neglect.

Like Holly, I, too, wish for a different ending because I sympathize with the narrator, but I agree that to change it would cheapen the message. Stick to truth. You do it very well.

[Caramel Gold]

~One word... Dope!!!

....yet still i'm on my knees
your dick in my mouth
even though you refuse to eat coochie

For me that WAS the most powerful part ... but I also LOVE the ending...

torn up confused
worn out verbally abused
and used
just so i can love myself first...
nah dude....i love... you

... Definitely wrapped it all up nicely... though its a fucked up poem lol LOVE IT!!!

[Janice]

Hi Jalesia
I Love Me Fisrt, but only in reverse....
Powerful, provocative and painfully poignant. I felt your hurt as I read each an every word. Raw and to the point.The way you acknowledge your own weakness somehow makes you sound very strong. I actually liked the ending, as it proves there really seems to be no end in site at all (although I hope there is). Keep it up..and best of luck in your future pursuit as a writer...underneath your pen lies books of many words that are begging to be heard...and they will!

[Muddy B.]

THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL......I MORE THAN SURE ALL FEMALES HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE.IT SPEAKS TO ME THOUGH AND I REALLY LOVE THIS

[Angel's Lady]

Wow. What a visual. Very powerful statement. Great write!

What if we ponder the ramification
of the need for justification,
using stimulation minus degradation.
Equal opportunity in this nation?

Very powerful statement you have written here. Great job!

[☮]

Deep. Blunt. An inner battle. You're fulfilling yourself but feeling weak because of your fulfillment of someone else. It's tight.

[holly]

I think it's good, heartfelt, and sad. I wish for a different ending but I think telling the truth as you know it is more powerful than wishes. The grammar has its own message - of pride and of defeat. But the poem is alive and has no woe-is-me vibe. Good job.