Summer Fades

Oh he says he's so intrigued

by my extensive history

of pagan rights and

criminal mischief

But I'm not sure if he cares

or just regrets that he missed it

 

So he opens his hands

to show me the scars

But then he forgets and

doesn't know where they are

And we sit back and laugh

at those false suggestions

Cause you know babe, i try

to only care about the present

 

 

Yeah he always laughs when

my eyes mist over

Cause he's not sure

if I'm sad or sober

When all I wanna do is

drive around

And let my eyes rest on

the river and clouds

 

 

His face is still, like a

statue when

I reach out, then

pull away

Decide to save those words

for a grayer day

 

 

Oh, are ya still gonne love me when

Summer fades along with the wind

 

Are ya still gonna love me

when I walk out of the dark

Just stay a while, cause I'm not sure

where we are.

Author's Note

I think this could be a song, if I could figure out a melody

Reviews

[Nadia Vincent]

Wonderful poem, there is a great sense of familiarity and on going mystery within that relationship, it flows well and there are lovely contrasting emotions.
"Yeah he always laughs when
my eyes mist over
Cause he's not sure
if I'm sad or sober" Very beautiful moment.

[Akshat♥]

yeah i agree with you...this is a song.i can almost hear the music also.very nicely written.last para is just marvalous...Excellant work...keep writing:)

[Jonathan De Elvira]

Are ya still gonna love me

when I walk out of the dark

Just stay a while, cause I'm not sure

where we are."

Sounds like a bridge of a song alright...Hehe...
Hurm, I think my mind just play out randomnly of song slow and mellow guitar rhythm...

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is nice writing. I think this is ready for the open mic.
You'd be quite popular with emotional content such as this.

[Crusaderscross]

This is really good I find anyway. The sense of finding and fear of loosing is present everywhere in your poem. There is hope, sadness and a mix of emotions fiting each other. Liked it.

[Sports Girl]

Nice job this came out good. Im not sure about ti being a song but im sure if you wanted it to be itd come out really good.

[Miss Coral]

Love this.. the phrases and whatnot really do seem like it would be a song.. I have no idea what the melody would be though.
Love the casual-ness of this, and how much of a story is put in it.
Great job. c:

-Coral-

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

I like this, you are very good.

[Shelby. Loves ya. :3]

I agree that this could be a song. I would be someone who would listen to it too.

[Poetry Girl]

this was such a good poem and i liked it a lot