I Wish You

Just a darkly humorous little attempt I'm whipping up, inspired by one of the contests I found on here.

I wish you, I wish you,

but don't think I'll miss you,

I wish you'd just call me back!

 

I wish you, I wish you,

You'll try to take issue,

I wish you'd just trip, fall, and crack!

 

I know you, I know you,

please don't let me slow you,

I know you'll be back and when.

 

I know you, I know you,

You'll say that I owe you,

I know you'll just do it again.

 

I blame you, I blame you,

and don't think I won't shame you,

I blame you and so we can't mend.

 

I blame you, I blame you,

You'll know that I framed you,

I blame you and this is the end.

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I really loved this piece of writing a lot, this one is really so deep and thoughtful.
I also loved its flow too, it is very appealing to the reader.
Overall, a great write it is....Very well penned!
Keep writing...

[J. Elsie]

What this poem needs to be the winner is a good onomatopoeia!!
And I know just the place. Instead of:
"I wish you'd just trip, fall, and crack!"
How about:
"I wish you'd just trip, fall, *ker-smack!*"

This good, right? ? ?

All jokes aside, without knowing what the contests purpose really was, I can say it reads as if from a semi-juvenile, narrator's viewpoint. This could be very insulting if its not what you intended, but I found it quite cute, and although the rhymes are simple they aren't the most commonly used, and so the next stanza was less predictable than I had guessed after reading the first. I like. Very nice.

Best of luck to you in the contest!
And Welcome in to Writer's Cafe!
-jenn-

[~Unashamed Love~]

Wow, I love the rhythm of your poem !!
I read it again and again!!