Loose Ends

Mourning the death of a loved one

Loose Ends

You showed me that this earth was more than dusty terrain and rain water

The garden was the way to your heart

I thought I dug up an artery when you handed me my first plow

But you assured me that if I ever felt lost, I could dig my hands into the soil to find you

You spoiled me with kindness and warmth.

Bringing so much joy through your laughter and voice.

An ambitious man whose pride nearly killed him.

And now you’re moments away and I’m trying to reach you

I’m digging my hands in this sand for a reason,

in hopes that the gods bestow another sequel

I don’t know what to do without you here

Not ready to let go

I’m turning to teachers, and mystics, and healers

looking for answers to make this disease go

So that you can stay for another day

For another century

For another light year

I’m not good with death

I’m not good with feelings

But losing you would strip me of all my reasoning

And leave me with a cocoon of emotions

too potent to process

And lead me to binges with improper outlets

Sweet man, I give you the key to my Lockett

So long as you tell me that something could stop this,

that someone could stop this

I may never drop this