Redemption Quests

Maya Angelou said it best, “Still I Rise.”

For years, I learned to lean upon cyborg levels of invulnerability.

I would work when I wanted you.

Drink when I wanted you.

Dream when I wanted you.

Anything, but tell you that I wanted you.

And with time, I’ve become rather good at convincing myself that these pastimes would do the trick.

And for some time, they did.

But every now and then, life does something shocking.

To the point where routines, and carefully constructed habits can no longer tame the instinct

That shocking thing has happened.

And at first, I was scared.

Then, I grew sad.

At one point, even mad.

And I sat down and processed the 7 stages of grief for what felt like eternity.

Until the blankness arrived to silence my mind.

And in the silence, I heard my heart scream “I love you.”

Even if it kills me