Imperfect

I’m tired but I cannot sleep
Because I miss him
Because I miss someone I never really knew
And you’ve stained my soul like a plague
I don’t care about enemies
I don’t care about government entities
I don’t care about bitter exes
I don’t care about the public and first impressions
I don’t care about this label

What? I get hints some times.
Is that what made me special in your eyes?
Because you were special to me before I could even assume you were somebody
You were special to me the minute you messaged me
Because in a sea full of strangers and orange notifications,
Yours stood out like a blinking red light on a sonar
My heart came alive when I encountered you
Even with your anonymity, I felt you through and through

And I’m stuck in purgatory now
Hoping that every next notification will be from you
I know you won’t cherish my vulnerability
You may see this display as weak and childish

My guides are asking me to refrain from writing this
I’m disobeying
Because my soul needs rest
I won’t threaten you with abandonment
I won’t let my ego trick you into thinking you’ve met anything less

But I’m growing tired
And I want to give up on you
I want to meet someone new
Someone who makes me feel something more
Someone who confirms the advice you gave to me
That i deserve true love
Since you couldn’t show me
I can’t wait around like a rag doll

I care for you
You don’t care for me
So please let me go then
Please let someone else care for me
Please relinquish the control
Let the spell work go
You can’t hold me captive, that’s not love
That’s imprisonment
And I feel the right one coming in
I’m thirsty for them
You’ve left me in a thirsty state
I don’t want you to watch someone else love me
I don’t want to hurt you
So please let me go
Pretend we never met
Move on with your life
Do your best to forget
And let’s make sure we never have to repeat this dance again

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

That sort of unrequited love is so damn hurtful. Takes ages to get over, but here in your lines, I detect a conviction to move on and be done with him for good. Bravo I say. Pleased I stopped by dina.

Chris