"Your Hearts have Restored" - A Duolingo Parody.

So... I lost my streak recently. And made this.

Hearts restored, will you go?
To the lessons unlearned and stories untold?
Your next German lessons are waiting for you,
You wouldn't want to be made into Schitznel, would you?
Your next French lessons are waiting for you,
You wouldn't want to be put to the guillotine(*), would you?
Your next Italian lessons are waiting for you,
You wouldn't want to become a pizza's topping, would you?
Your next Spanish lessons are waiting for you,
You wouldn't wanna simply be late to our date, would you~?
With that being said, go take lessons and do your best,
Before we cut off your streak and have you take twenty tests,
Because here at Duolingo,
We don't take kindly the no-shows,
Go get on with it, mi amigo,
Or you'll be begging for forgiveness, lo siento.

- Definitely not Stu. T.H. (November 22, 2023)

Author's Note

(*) Notes: I wish to say sorry for using dark humour, but I can't help it. Also, if you wish to punish me, go ahead, use the guillotine, you French!
(Joking, I love the French... girls.)

Duolingo, please don't suspend my account. UwU

Reviews

[zeronineight]

HAHAHA Oh I can relate to this. Writing something to ease the pains in your heart for losing the streak you had is *the* ultimate copium. I love the light hearted pace of the piece. It reminds me of friendly jabs, ribbing you for missing your streak. And it invites the question:

How many days did you have on your streak -- and did you indeed go to the lessons unlearned and stories untold? Because when I lost my streak I just deleted the app and never looked back AHAHA

[Stu. T.H.]

They really should make streaks easier to gain back, don't they?
Anyways, thank you for stopping by, I wish you a good day, author zeronineight.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Love it, mi amigo. Hearts are for losing, not breaking, and where do they find their speakers who try making D sound lije R. Hint: Spanish don’t roll their D.

Winston

[Stu. T.H.]

Thank you for indulging in my mischievous work, author W. Barrett Munn. Regardless of its silly nature, I hope it did bring momentary pleasure.

[Stu. T.H.]

Yup, fellas, this is my quality control at its finest.