Friends

This is a poem that talks about the value of friends. I don't know, but there's something missing in the poem to me...depth, perhaps?

Friends are the life blood of us,

They show us the way,

Without our friends,

We'd have a lonely day.

 

Friends give us their trust,

Without them we're weak,

They help create our future,

Or else it would be bleak.

 

I value my friends,

In my heart they've been placed,

To me it's impossible,

For them to be replaced.

 

And now I must say,

It is time to go,

Friendship is very important,

It keeps me with the flow.

Author's Note

Long reviews are appreciated, but if you just put "Good" or "Terrible", that's fine with me, I just want to know why you think it's good or terrible or whatever you think it is. Also, ignore any grammatical or spelling errors, and I just wanted to say that even I don't really like that last part, but I was just thinking off the top of my head.

Reviews

[Windy]

I think you did a really good job except for I agree with you about the last part. I think if you could replace that with something it would be perfect. I don't think it's lacking depth at all as what you are talking about is very important. The first three paragraphs have good rhyme and flow. You might consider changing "We'd have a lonely day" to maybe We'd have lonely days, seems like it flows just a tab bit better but this is your poem, you do what you think is best. I am just single person and it's just my opinion. I think you will do very well on here with a little time and patience (with yourself as well as some of us!) Keep writing. ;)

[Lexy]

I think you're right... something is missing. The first stanza was off... it doesn't sound right, to me. Of course, you might've been trying too hard because you're rhyming, but whatever. That might just be my opinion on rhyming.