Vampire poem

just something i thought up

Red fangs drip a white blood,

Venom, evil cream

Of a black soul.

 

White eyes glimmer in darkness,

Staring into oblivion,

Into the hole of death.

 

A scream,

silent and dead

Rings in the icy tomb.

 

The sound races

On wind currents

But is never heard.

 

You feel the pain

A moment to late.

 

You feel the brush of breath

Never.

 

You notice it's presence

Only after you become it

Author's Note

ignore grammer problems

Reviews

[Pakino]

What is meant to be a vampire?

I think you could do a better job. What you have so far is good. But I think you can do better then that.

[Legion]

Cold, calculating, and to the point. I like it. I especially liked the first stanza the best (evil cream of a black soul). Check out "The Curse From Madame Rouge", a song I wrote that's something similiar somewhat. I think you'll like it.