Laced with Gold

What do we treasure?

I offered you my soul

the worth of it

did seem small at the time,

you verified the pawn shops bid

so, I did not even bother with the exchange…

 

She offered me her words

I treasured them

beyond measure,

diamond clarity

dazzled every line,

I was not worthy of such a gift.

 

I spent years refining my heart,

a pirates’ ransom

laced within,

woven golden threads

prove my mettle,

now, too weighty for you to bear…

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like where this ended up...worth the pain...and the pawn shop's bid...yes, you can't put a price on love...

and words are special...words, feelings...a touch, a look...togetherness, holding hands..etc.

love has now price...really like this a lot.

[David Scott]

Thank you for reading jacob. The poem does flip the page so to speak...

[Horizon K.]

How sad, that we can ever be in a place where one did not value themself enough to chose someone that truly valued and treats one right... And sometimes we learn to love ourselves when someone else loves us, backwards from what "they" say, that you have to love yourself first before you can love another... But once the heart is refined, it is so true that now we recognize love best... And the end leaves me wondering... What is next?

[David Scott]

Thank you for reading. I am not sure if this is so much sad as it is a fact of life. Compatibiliy and respect are dynamic and rare to maintain. We change all the time. Growth cam be growing closer or growing apart... It just is. ;)

[fwvalidus]

"I offered you my soul, the worth of it seemed small at the time." is a very powerful two lines in my mind. The first stanza is definitely my favourite, I'm not really sure if I understand the rest as I should. Perhaps it is too veiled, perhaps I am daft, or perhaps it is fine art that I should pause at for longer to appreciate it.

[David Scott]

I'm glad you related to a part of the poetry...
I was not trying to be obscure...
Sometimes, we have more "baggage" or maybe "treasure" than others can love tolerate. Simple can be easier at times... Not better or worse, just more complicated.
Gold is wonderful stuff, but it can be hard to carry around...

[fwvalidus]

ah yes definitely makes sense. good work

[lee von cleef]

"oh I hear a jazz "Cohen" Took my diamond to the pawnshop -
But that don't make it junk.
Those feelings are so true.

[David Scott]

Nice one Lee! I do love me some Jazz! Thank you for reading.

[KAOlmsted]

This is outstanding. I love it...(I wonder if you mean "mettle" though...I guess it works either way *laugh*) Hey...I wouldn't be kimmer if I didn't edit you, Scott! :-D xoxo

[David Scott]

Thank you Kimmer. Edit away! Honestly though, is it not right to say the metal of a man was tested? I may be confused... Would not be the first time.

[KAOlmsted]

Mettle is courage, or fortitude, or bravery...Metal is that music I like xD My pleasure, Scott ;-)

[David Scott]

Thank you. :) I learned something today. Yeah. It is a good day.

[Sami Khalil]

"She offered me her words.

I treasured them beyond measure.

Diamond clarity dazzled every line.

I was not worthy of such a gift."

You offered her your soul , she offered you her words for a measly exchange ( pawn shop ) to find out they were cubic Zircon instead of real diamonds( the four c's ) for your heart is refined like gold which is so precious and weighty for her to bear...A splendid read and write. I like the analogies alot...:)

[David Scott]

Thank you Sami. The poem is about what is valued and truly valuable as you say so well in your review. Just a thought that came into my head as I reviewed a poem a few moments ago...

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. Good to know...You are welcome...:)