chemistry major

There are circles under her coffee cup

When she picks it up between equations.

There are circles under her eyes, too.

There’s a tattoo of the first line of her favorite poem,

On her shoulder but you can’t see it.

Her ears sparkle.

Her brain does too but you can’t see it.

There’s a world inside her pen

And those dirty boots will leave great big scuff marks on the world.

She’s invincible. She just might not know it yet.

Hair tied back. Hands fidgeting with rings.

There are people who walk by and miss the sun.

Yet there she sits. Chemistry book in her lap.

Reviews

[kitty blur]

Loved this, first off. You got a character across without the boring "her hair was brown, she was sad" words that everyone has seen before. The little descriptions of the circles under the coffee cup and the tattoo that you can't see and the dirty boots leaving scuff marks on the world were my favorite parts - they are indirect descriptions but I could picture this girl perfectly because of them.

I want to know her! I want to understand more about this girl and be her friend! I want to look at the stars with her and hear what she would say about them! Not sure how or why this poem made me feel all of that and I must sound a little crazy. The point is that you made me feel something, so thank you.

You say "but you can't see it" twice. Was that on purpose, or is that something that you would normally revise the words of so that you don't repeat yourself? It's just a small critique, more of a personal thing, but I thought I'd point it out.

Overall, please write more. Your use of language kept me intrigued throughout the entire poem and I'd like to keep on being intrigued. This poem was fun for me to read. :)