A love sought pure

I wrote this for a weekly topic on a group for Deviant Art. The topic was "My first love" But i also told my story of my current love, happy endings =]

We sat, near the sunset...
The dark... hugging our feet. 

Perched on a rooftop.
Sound, soft, discreet.

My head... on his shoulder.
His arm... wrapping mine. 

A day never to be seized.
But... at the drop of a dime. 

Her shadow filled our romance....
The silhouette...
I had never the chance. 
my love's eyes did wonder, to her lustrous trance.


My world turned a dark fade. ...
I watched him walk away. 

And I sat in my somber...
As the trees so did sway.

A love thought pure... stolen away....
A love sought forever... never again, anyway.

Till the day came another...
And the world wasn't grey.

He'd stolen my heart...
To this very day.

Reviews

[EYES OF MY SOUL]

A love like that is worth living for i loved every bit of .

[Anthony Lejarzar]

deep

[Brianaswriting]

a well written romance :) Lovely.

[James William Dyer]

I like the sound of the poem when read aloud, the syllable structure is great, but when I tried picturing the feelings in my mind they seemed vague, and I think (just my opinion) that words like somber and a few of the phrases, like "...the world wasn't grey" are too non-specific. I would localize each feeling and draw a specific word for each one. But as I said, the syllable structure, the Flow is perfect.

[Anissa Amer]

Thank you kindly.

[M.M.I]

Sounds very personal. I enjoyed the imagery and rhyming throughout. The sentiment I could not relate to, however. Very enjoyable

[Moon]

This piece is moving and some what sad . Thank you for sharing

[Anissa Amer]

:)

[Chance]

Wow great peice. Heart felt is what leaps to mind. Thanks for sharing.

[Anissa Amer]

Thanks for reading

[Sami Khalil]

You have outdone yourself dear poetess. A really good job . One of your best ones.

[Anissa Amer]

Thank you, kind sir ^_^

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome . My pleasure.I like this style.

[luviva]

wowo this is good! the word come so effortlesly to me when reading this as if am confessing my feelings to some guy i dnt knw.. nice write

[Anissa Amer]

Thank you