DON`T WRITE ME NO STINK`N POEM

 

DON`T WRITE ME NO STINK`N POEM

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
They all sound the same to this old ear
Just call me on the telephone
And tell me that you are still my own

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
They all sound the same to this untrained ear
Just let me know that we`re ok
That we`ll be as one at end of day

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
That stuff all sounds the same
Just blow me a kiss or two
And I love it when you say my name

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
Unless I can watch you while you read
I may not understand all the words I hear
But your sweet lips are all I need

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
I can`t concentrate with you so near
Just tell me you love me and I will know
It`s true, not just an afterglow

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
I don`t understand those fancy words
Just let me know where you will be
For I`ll be there inspired by your verbs

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
You know how I hate pretense
Just hold me in your arms and hear
The soul that longs for and pines intense

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
Why do you think I hold you close ?
So you will be always near
When I need you , my darling lost

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
It has been , now , over a year
That we have been as one
Don`t tell me , in a poem, we are done

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
It won`t bring you back
We`re finished for a fact
We felt the pain as end drew near

Don`t write me no stink`n poem dear
I can`t stand another tear
Just whisper my name once more
As I slip quietly out the door.
--------Eagle Cruagh

 

 

© 2008 Eagle Cruagh

 

Reviews

[Amanda Avalon]

Sorry for the overdue review! This is an excellently titled and well-written piece... I love it when I am going through something and happen to find that whatever I watch or read very well describes what I am going through with another person... It's funny how we look back on the year's past and find there's always a feeling that was left behind. Thank you for this, as well as your review of my work!

[emmajoy]

What struck me with this is the way you remember each thing she did, each way you react or reacted .. it happens all the way through .. your memory's intact, in spite of saying over and over that 'you don't want a stinkin' poem dear'.

That last verse says it all .. ' Just whisper my name once more / As I slip quietly out the door.'

This is a sad, sad poem, and, unlike the other reviewers I think that repeated first line is a way of convincing self that ..

[LaineyBeetle]

I'm not generally a huge fan of poetry - it seems as if you can throw any old words together into a few random lines and if one or two of them happen to rhyme then you can call it "poetry". I liked this poem however. There was definitely a nice rhythm in there and the story was quite enjoyable. I was pleased with the lack of pretentiousness. Personally, I like to enjoy poems and connect with the words rather than sit there and puzzle over rediculous riddles that can be interpreted in a variety of ways. Some people get so wound up in trying to be clever that it ends up sucking all the fun out of it. You got straight up and to the point here and all in all it was a pleasant experience. I do agree with Tigra about the repetition of the first line though. It may have been more fitting to a shorter length poem? Another thing I noticed is there were a couple of lines when you were stretching to make the rhyme - I make it a rule for myself that if it doesn't completely rhyme the first time I don't use it. To be more specific - words/verbs and close/lost were the ones that bothered me. Please keep in mind that I am an amateur myself so don't be too concerned about my opinion :) Great poem - thanks for sharing!

[Tracie Skarbo]

This is a sad poem, one of loss and missunderstandings. I found the repetition of the first line somewhat distracting, but I liked how the main character of the poem was portrayed as being meager in the literature sense. Found it made him more appealing somehow.

Tigra