Light

The sun went away,

I will surly be okay.

With her to my right,

She is my forever light,

If she left I'd have no sight.

Reviews

[Danielle Anatomyy]

In my opinion, you may not agree, you should find a way to fit "but I will surly be okay," because afterward you start explaining why. You should also move "she is my forever light," to the last line, because it sounds more like the closing. I like the tanka format. Normally, I don't like rhyme, but with a little reviewing, you could make this one work. Consider my suggestions; you don't have to do them, I'm just trying to help. Overall, it's a nice, first published, piece.

On a different note, thank you love.