List To Live By

Didactic poem and also "List" poem

Be born (or get born if you prefer)
If you are a woman �" Give birth
Remember your name when in a foreign land
(If you don't have one make one up)
Breathe only air and at the appropriate time
Drink wine (but not with living fish or gators)
Take walks on the beach (remember feet and sandals)
Open a door with at least one hand
(Close it with another)
Buy security
Read Aristophanes
Borrow a car, (one with gas and a woman inside)
Borrow a woman (Catholic, Jewish or atheist will do)
*Teeth are important
Brush teeth - “yours” and “hers” (use different brushes)
Build a house  (one with windows and oceans inside)
Scratch an itch - only using your spouse or lover (Never use your nose)
Put the trash out (starting with your spouse if they are dirty or ugly)
Go to war....with bacteria
Go to peace (found under flower petals and under the covers of night)
Diet and die (but not in any particular order)
Follow this list to Acapulco - another list will follow
Follow that list to its conclusion (never lose it)

Author's Note

*This is a didactic poem. It is also a "List" poem. It might get a little silly at times.