Kiwi

Lies and deception

I hope that tin can boat

don't float

as you push it out to sea.

I hope it rusts

and tears

and busts

and brings you back to me.

Author's Note

all feedback welcome

Reviews

[fireblossom]

the games of life little toy soldiers and tin can boats

if only we could get real and open our hearts to the girls standing at our side

in the end we do return to them

i hope you retain this childlike voice in your tool kit

it suits you

really good poem

[Starcaller]

Aww...I thought it was adorable. 100% for you :D

[Nessa Aurinko]

Awh, so bittersweet! It made me smile yet also sad.

[Laura E. Aranda]

awwwwwwwwww the last line made me smile... regardless of how angry and hurt -you don't want them to leave.

[Lost]

Wow! Truly awesome. It makes me want to be him. ;-)

The lyrical tones sit just right, and the sweetness is nearly unbearable...