...

I walked into the room glancing left to right without ever moving my eyes. Paying strict attention to my perferal vision. Feeling for any motion, there was none, the air was so suddenly numb. "This is how a quadrapeligic must feel." I thought. Every step I took echoed within this endless mass of sound that filled the room. I felt the waves bounce to and fro between the walls like ping pong balls. I rubbed my fingers with anticipation and to calm my anxious mind. It didn't help, my palms were moist with sweat. "Why am I nervous? I have done this countless times, like a never ending set of repetitions." This was as easy as breathing with had a healthy set of lungs. Finally, I approached the door, mahogany red, solid, five inches thick, six feet in height, three feet in width, the golden bronze felt relentlessly cold, colder than it had ever been. I gripped it tight, with whatever force I could summon within those few seconds of what felt like infinity. I felt my forearm tense and all its tendons contract and stretch, but I couldn't find the courage to turn the knob. I knew what awaited me on the other side. There was no mystery, only the solid weight of the truth lie beyond its mahogany frame. I closed my eyes and stretched my neck, trying to release the tension. I wish I could just fade away into the darkness that enveloped me when my eyes were shut. Pointless wishes, reality was the cruel ring master, and it's whip was cracking at my heels. No amount of endless imagination could change this. Suddenly, I was filled with rage, I was angry with myself. Angry with the cowardice, angry with my indecisiveness. Without thinking I turned the knob, a mindless action. Then, as if a man possessed, I took a few steps foreword. A butler to my right met my eyes with his. He immediately bowed his head in respect. No man could look me in the eyes, not after what I had experienced. Not that they weren't worthy, they simply could not understand. "Sir, he has been expecting you." spoke the butler. I nodded solemnly in response. The fire place crackled, embers leapt forth as if to show excitement towards my arrival. My instincts became sharp again. I could hear the gentle taps of fingers on the arm rest of a leather chair, I could smell the linseed oil emanating into the air. I slowly approached, the chair was grande, larger than most men, it was truly luxurious, the color matched that of the door, an auburn red. I realized, the entire room was furnished with this color in mind. I approached softly, but then I halted. What I stared upon was immense, I was befuddled as to why I didn't see it before. Above the fireplace there was an symbol etched finely and with the precision of a master craftsman. I had seen it somewhere before but couldn't recall.
"It's original, one of a kind. Everything in this room is. It's a tribute to me. I am not a being of exquisite taste, so remove that thought from your mind. I am a one who believes solely in himself, all else is pointless." He spoke with a crisp French accent. Nihilism with a touch of narrcicism, I thought. "No, Nietztche was wrong and right at the same time. He was only correct in his findings during an era where mans purpose of existence was being taken away. In his depression and insanity he came up with the only logical conclusion he could, all is null. I for one, know this to be false, everything has its purpose, it's meaning, even if you are too blind to see it. Sometimes, you must feel it, other times, you taste it. Purpose rains down upon you like rain in a tempest or blood during a conflict. I want you to accept this fact and bask in the essence of this insignia, for what it entails is far deeper than anything you have experienced before. It is the precept, the embodiment of all that I believe." I glared at the symbol, half expecting it to transform, to show me it's true face, and almost immediately it did. This insignia consisted of a perfect circle divided into many sections, within lay small symbols, arciac, I had never seen them before. I almost felt the need to touch it, to completely make this experience reality. The circle seemed to moved as the symbols vibrated intensely. It felt as if the room shook the longer I stared at it. "Do you understand what it is and who I am? Do you?" As he said this the flames died down to a few flickers per second. I, then, noticed there were no other lights on, the fireplace was the sole source. " Come here, stare upon me and do not look away." I almost pissed my self right then and there. I gulped and swallowed as much air as I could. I stepped inward and stood in front of the man in the chair. I stared straight ahead, the butler was gone and the door was closed. The heat from the fireplace rolled up my back in waves. My nervous system electrified and all my hairs stood on end. " DO NOT FEAR ME! IT IS AN INSULT! GIVE MY PRESENCE YOUR FULL ATTENTION!"
His voice demanded obedience and justification. The tone vibrated my entire being, again, another mindless action, I stared upon him. I saw what could only be described as faceless, no dominate features, no eyes, nose, mouth, or ears. The head of a human completely smooth, perfectly round and symmetrical. But he didn't have skin, no, it was as if he consisted of vapor, vapor trapped inside a globe in the shape of a human head. A whirlwind of color danced within and flashed brilliantly. The deeper I stared, I swear I could see faces in anguish, expressions of pure ecstasy, humans faces. Then I heard it, the screams, the chattering of a thousand people. It was like being inside of a crowded building with as many different kinds of people with different dialects as possible. I fell to my knees, I couldn't look away. The man stood up and towered over me, he looked to be at least seven feet tall. He reached out both his hands, those too were smooth and vibrant with color. He gently grabbed my face. "What are you?" I whimpered. I tried to clench my fist to attack, to tighten my calves in order to get up, but nothing worked. " I am all, I am null, I am everything God has ever wanted me to be." As he said this I could only stare deeper, then I saw what looked like the face of a goat, a halo hung above its head, eyes and body of a man, sitting on a throne, dressed in robes, a chalice in his left and his right on the head of a child. His mouth began to open, now all I could see was this endless abyss, the void. His mouth stretched further and further until the darkness blanketed every corner. There were no more colors, no more fear. Only blackness, only entropy.