Why

I wanna talk to you but instead I’m laughing at some joke some other guy made pretending that your phones broke and that’s why you won’t call me. I wanted it to, I wanted to say something stupid and then overthink but I guess I don’t know you well enough. I smile into my sweater a blush that never seems to fade I can’t see beyond the screen just the decision that I’ve met someone knew to talk too but he doesn’t talk to me like you do he doesn’t laugh at the things I say and I know you’d think that ridiculous too and I imagine saying I have a date tonight and you saying, “ cancel it and go out with me instead” and I’d say, “ I don’t know about that” so you’ll respond with, “ so what time are you free” and I’m blushing like crazy I can feel the warmth spread all through out me for something that we are definitely not. I’ve been keeping somebody company like I’m dirty dishes in their sink just waiting to be put away to be used at a later time. I tell him I write poetry and he said but your name doesn’t really easily rhyme… looking back now I think this might have been a mistake I should be with you not here with him trying to think of new things to say.

Reviews

[damienf]

A nice stream-of-consciousness piece, short but full of longing and humanity.

If I could make a minor suggestion, why not lean into that architecture a little more? Try it without any punctuation at all (almost). Remove commas and full stops (periods) entirely, and replace them with "and" "but" "though" etc. Keep the speech marks.

See which version you prefer.

Best, Damien

[Neha agrawal]

Wow. This feels like reading a conversation I never got to have.
The kind where you smile at the wrong person while your heart’s still full of someone else.
That awkward ache of almost-saying something, almost-being something — but it never lands.
I know what it’s like to pretend you’re okay, to laugh at the wrong jokes, to sit next to someone while missing someone who never really stayed.
The part about the date? And imagining him telling you to cancel it? That wrecked me.
Because yeah… sometimes we build entire scenes in our heads just to feel close to someone we don’t even talk to anymore.
This was soft and messy in the most honest way. I felt every word.