Mist

I hope you enjoy this poem about a poor lost cloud. Remember to Include not Exclude. xo Evie.

M I S T

Mist shrouds every home,

covers every window,

down the path it roams,

hugging the world like a pillow.

It swarms around the swingset,

this little outcast cloud.

It cries it's tears, so, so wet,

It would go home if it were allowed.

Down here it stays,

a lonely beggar,

until the atmosphere sucks it away,

gone forever.

                          - xo Evie

Author's Note

Is it boring? Or good?
I was literally just writing whatever came out.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Some of the best poetry comes out of writing what first pops into the head. This is a great metaphor for solitude. Short but powerful. There's a word, though that doesn't fit the mood of the poem: "swarms" sounds too angry and vicious, and this is a sad toned poem. I would suggest "swirl". There are also a couple of small grammatical/poetical mistakes:

- "it cries ITS tears....(it's is "it is")
–"it would go home if allowed" (no need for "it were"....it ruins the musicality)

But this is not boring. This is a great poem overall. Well done!

[Ghost writer]

it's sweet, I wrote a similar one about a lonely star, it's really cute I like the stile

[00000000000000000000000..]

Very metaphorically set in tones about wisdom speaking in the wind:) great work:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Not boring. Very entertaining. I liked how you used description. Thank you Evie for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote