A Final Wish

This poem reflects the son’s deep yearning for his mother’s presence, the pain of abandonment, and his lingering love, even in the face of such heartache.

A Final Wish

I waited by the window, day and night,
Hoping you'd come, hoping you'd fight.
The sickness weighed heavy, but more than the pain,
Was the silence, the absence-"calling your name.

I’d dream of your voice, soft and sweet,
Of you by my side, pulling up a seat.
But each day passed with no sound, no call,
And I wondered if you cared at all.

They told me the truth, but I didn’t believe-"
That you’d spent the money, that you chose to leave.
That while I was fighting, all pale and thin,
You found your solace in a bottle’s spin.

I ached for you, more than for breath,
More than the fear of impending death.
All I wanted was you by my side,
But your love, it seemed, had long since died.

I thought, perhaps, I wasn’t enough,
That loving me must have been too tough.
But I would have given my final day,
To see your face, to hear you say:

“I’m here, my son. I’ll stay this time.
I won’t let go. You’re still mine.”
But those words never came, that touch never felt,
And with each passing hour, I slowly knelt.

To the truth that you chose something else over me,
That the bottle, not love, held the key.

I fought alone, in a cold, sterile bed,
Longing for you, but the whiskey instead.

Now I’m gone, but I still hope you see,
The cost of your choices-"what they did to me.

For all I wanted was you, Mom, to care,
But you left me alone in my final despair.

And though I forgive, my heart still aches,
For the moments lost, the love it takes,
To make a child feel wanted, feel whole,
Even as cancer claimed my soul.

So here I rest, in the quiet beyond,
No longer waiting, no longer fond.
But I hope, one day, you’ll understand,
That love was always within your hand.

Reviews

[Marie]

Oh, Elnnes, what a tragic story unfolds within the poem. Your grief is tangible throughout. To want, need, crave a Mother's love and not receive it splinters one's very soul. It is soul destroying. I know, I've been there too, but made my peace with the situation and with my Mother now in Spirit. The moments lost can never be regained, but I have found that a person can only love as much as they are able to love and it is different for everyone. I love with my whole heart and soul, but that may be due to my own personal experience of wanting my Mother's love so badly when I was growing up. I don't know! The final line of the poem is so poignant "love was always within your hand". It was, but your Mother didn't have the ability to give you the love your craved, sadly. I send you love Elnnes and I am sure that every poet and poetess who reads your superbly penned poem with horrifying circumstances will send you love too! I just see that the story was about your late brother, bless him! He has all the love he need now in Spirit and understands why your Mother wasn't able to give him the love he so needed. There is great forgiveness there, as there is between my Mother and I and all that remains between us now is the purest of love and light. Thank you for sharing this poem Elnnes, it can't have been easy to bare your soul to people you don't know! Sending Hugs, with Light and Love too...

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

this was a devastating narrative, and i can only offer you my condolences. but this work was tightly written with consistent rhymes, which may be a sign you have gained back some control. it teaches us grief is hard and it can feel like a death sentence, but, in it, we still can find freedom. there are many ways that help us heal the scars in our soul, and reading things like this, certainly for me, is one way.

[Dave W.]

What was the inspiration for this? It was really sad. None can cut as deep as those we hold so close. Good poem, very moving, I love anything that gets my mind going.

[Nessa]

Hi Dave , thank you for your kind words. I wrote the poem about a year ago after my brother had passed, I was hesitant to post it , but this poem is a story of what had happened. It is true that no hurt is bigger than ones close to us. Family

[Dave W.]

I lost my father in 2021 and know the pain of death. Thank you for sharing this and being vulnerable with something so dear.