Vanish

Vanish.
A magic trick.
"Now you see it.
Now you don't."

Vanish.
That's what I did.
Closed my eyes
And stripped my life away.

Vanish.
Took me away.
Made me tumble
Round and round.

Vanish.
A magic trick.
"Now you see it.
Now you don't."

That's what I did.
Closed my eyes
And stripped my life away.

Reviews

[PasDeChat]

Very nice. I love the image it gave me of that feeling that we feel with time , just becoming invisible and taken for granted.

I like the first and fourth stanzas. It make the poem playful, but serious at the same time. Which I think is a great combination in a poem like this. I like the repeating of the lines as well. It's great. Overall and amazing piece. Thank you for sharing.

[Bluefire]

I like this one. It reminds me of a Goosebumps book I read once.
Well done, it inspired me. ^^

[Winchester Saltgunner]

that is so beautiful! how old are u?? lol if i didnt know better i wld say your sisters with edgar allan poe lol :)

[I Am Svetlana]

Thank you so much for your kind words :) and I turn 22 on October 28th. And I take it you would be Edgar Allen Poe? Haha. What writer would I be then?

[Winchester Saltgunner]

well id say Elizibeth barrett browning or emily dickens lol ps i love edgar i watched the new movie the raven with Jhon cusak it was awesome

[I Am Svetlana]

I never saw The Raven cause I never got the chance to, but it looked amazing! And I'll take Emily Dickens :)

[Winchester Saltgunner]

lol awesome lolzzz sorry that i write lol so much i just do...lol

[I Am Svetlana]

Haha, it's not a problem at all. That's just how I am, I write alot in reviews to people's writing. No worries though :)

[Winchester Saltgunner]

oaky lol :)

[I Am Svetlana]

:) don't ever worry about saying too much. You always say just enough.

[Winchester Saltgunner]

awww thx hun u make me feel amaizing lol

[I Am Svetlana]

Well, as long as you continue to feel amazing, then everything will be alright :) I'm glad I can make you feel that way. You're so sweet!

[Winchester Saltgunner]

thx u r 2 i love ur friend ship and love 2 me

[I Am Svetlana]

Aw, how kind of you :) that just made my day! I love our friendship too and your love to me! I hope it always stays this way.

[Winchester Saltgunner]

it will i promise you!

[I Am Svetlana]

Thanks Hun :) you're the best! I promise that it won't change either between us.

[Winchester Saltgunner]

teehee :) goodeee

[I Am Svetlana]

You're welcome :)

[Abhra]

The first paragraph is beautiful. I liked the sudden-ness of the word vanish followed by Now you see it and now you don't. A very good jolt right at the beginning. And it carries very well from such a wonderful beginning. I like the near repetition of the first stanza in the end. Made it much more direct and poignant pivoting about the third stanza, which ties in very well with the round and round...
A very good piece of work.

[p.kuhl]

Oh, hey, this is really good! I was not expecting that to double over and fall into an echoed repeat when I started reading it. Very eerie and sonically lovely