Undead

Save me from the demon
That crawled into my bed.
The one who lives inside my head.
I go to sleep with stories unread.
Words unsaid.
The world will soon become undead.

There is one I know
Who drags me down too deep.
That stalks me in my sleep.
Wishing me, a thing for it to keep.
Hoping one day, we could meet.
Along that long and empty street.

Bring me to the surface
When it wishes to drown me.
There are new places I wish to be.
People I wish to see.
Just drag me back to reality!

Reviews

[ANM]

Very well written with good imagery!

[SonOfPlunder]

Stark imagery here, good work!

[VertoAtrum]

Eerie, and beautiful. I also love how you found so many rhyming words, and made them make sense in their sentences. Great job =]

[Baby Ricochet]

This is good. Creepy. Good job

[Blue Belle]

I enjoyed your poem, it spoke to me. I liked the way you were crying out for help.

[Bluefire]

This is pretty good. I like the flow oof the rhymes and the creepy, nightmarish vibe this gives off. ^^

[My Favorite Writer !]

A beautiful poem. I like these three lines the most "I go to sleep with stories unread. Words unsaid. The world will soon become undead." I would surely come back here to read more.

[Justine]

I like the way this is written, great rhyme and word choice. The story reminded me of a pest, menace or stalker, that refuses to die. Good analogy of feeling like being drowned and then "bring me to the surface". I could almost feel the gasping for air. A tense, dark poem that I really enjoyed reading. Justine

[Tai Ryens]

Crippling depression shoving you forcefully out of reality and causes you to be out of tune with yourself, something that stalks you everywhere and drags you down like an anchor; this is a concept I'm far too familiar with. I could feel the longing for reality behind your lines, this was like a plea for help coming from behind a mind that feels out of touch with its body, lost in the subconscious ocean of thoughts.
I also particularly liked that the world already feels dead to you, and to have it brought back that suddenly, it almost seems like a zombie, forever a corpse of what it once was . . .
Well done, indeed!

[Scott Metro]

My goodness...a little dark today are we??....LOL
Very nice really...


Scott

[I Am Svetlana]

I actually wrote this a few days ago, not today. Haha. I'm good and bright today, don't worry :)

[Scott Metro]

:)
Scott....