Sin to Disappear

I just thought of it and wrote it down

There once,

Was a girl named Lynn.

For she,

Had committed a deadly sin.

With no trust from others,

She stood alone.

This sin,

She would tell no one.

On a distant hill,

She stood and smiled.

Even though her sin stil haunts her.

She will soon

Be rid of this great burden.

It slowly eats and rips

At her heart.

She knows, she needs

To make this sin

Disappear and heal her soul.

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

this is a short piece with little description but you do convey your emotions quite clearly. It has a bit of a mystery to it which I like for the sin is never mentioned exactly what it is. That is where the little description comes in but it isn't needed. The mystery keeps the reader wondering about the poem and what that sin might be. Great work.

[mischeif]

A very short and sweet read with some emotion weaving through. I love the story line and the way it flows. Keep going

[Art Sun]

nice work on this expression of thought through poem...

[Jaded rose]

Enjoyed this. Sin does this to you.

[klp4]

Wonderfully dark...

[J.P. Lylinstern]

This poem alludes to so much yet so little. Is she contemplating running away? Committing suicide? I feel like I want to reach out and pull her back from the ledge that she can't turn away from, like I want to save her and tell her everything will be all right. That pain is only temporary. Great job.

[Holly O'Brien]

sounds almost tragic....sad tone...makes you think about mistakes and how deeply they might affect you...love it!

[Angel's Lady]

Deep....teasingly so.

It slowly rips and eats at her heart. Well, sin will do that to you, I suppose.

Good job!

[huntnteen]

Good poem! i understand the fight against sin, and i hope you can beat it

[HappyTaylor]

This is wonderful. I like it alot.