To Eternity

Take me from forever.

Keep me here today.

Let's fade

Into this moment.

 

Let's take a drive

To this eternity.

Speak those words to me.

The ones you let slip away.

Author's Note

A song I started. Need imput and thoughts on it so far.

Reviews

[DearSweetAgony]

Very Nice.
This would be an awesome song!
Great Job!

[Holly O'Brien]

So far I'm loving it. It seems like a love song already...

Keep going ;)

[ATG]

I like this. It definately sounds like part of a song. The end of the first stanza seems to end rather abruptly though. In seems like there should be another line after "Into this moment." Also the line in the last stanza seem slightly off to me. The line itself is okay, but the words "you let" seem to break up the rhythm for me. Other than that, it seems really good. To be honest, the poem may sound a lot better when sung and may make what I mentioned worthless.

[.]

I like the thought process here..it's thought provoking..

[Different Wings]

Hmm, I do like knowing that it's a song because it works pretty well when I sing it in my head. Of course, it could be longer but you said you only started it. I do like the first line especially- and also how the first stanza doesn't tell you anything about who you're talking to and then it progresses into a realization at the end of the second one. However, it does lose the flow a bit at that point. Good use of words like "eternity" and "forever."