riding dreams

It's something about

dreams I can't remember

when my mind rambles on

running through hidden rhythms

looking for something greener.

It's something about

meeting you there in the mists

in-between natural conversation

and forgotten memories.

Having known you

and lost you and found you,

I still grieve those vacant hours

always harder before the rain comes.

It's something about

the way you hold my hand--

I'm sure of it--even if,

I can't remember how it felt.

Reviews

[C. Harter Amos]

What a wonderful poet you are, and what an illusive, beautiful painting of someone you love inside a dream you've given us! "I still grieve those vacant hours always harder before the rain comes" very profound and almost a seperate thought from the rest of the poem, still so well written; my favorite lines of the poem. Maybe because the whole poem strummed my heart-strings. Beautifully done, Emily. xx - Mimi.

[theludus]

So, I'm sure you'll hear me say the word 'intuition' a lot, and actually I believe it's a poet's best friend. It leads them to phrases, or helps them access complex thoughts in others' work, and for me there's always the feeling of having been places before or having known people. I'm sure you understand. So, yes this is a wonderful theme and you are spot on for two stanzas, the sonics and phrasing are just lovely.

The last four lines address what the others informed, but I'd play around with the phrasing since it doesn't feel quite there to me. In poetry there is no rush, so those last lines will come. It could be that you need to break free of the structure set in place by 'it's something about' and also I don't think you need to explain, the way I feel you are in that last line. It's an intuition poem. Hope that's helpful. It's almost uniformly lovely.

[James Paulin]

Layers of implied emotion and depth beyond the words, yet easily comprehended. I enjoyed your poem!

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Wonderful title Riding Dreams, the thought is also entriguing, dreams that seem to be caught with memories. Very nice and congrats on your book. I hope it does well.

[Tomás Ó C..]

A lovely little poem...

[raining]

First two lines are excellent, and bring the reader in to the somnalnce of what dreams are about. We all dream,"my mind rambles on"
good there. Then for the next words might try more image words. you have already done the bridge words to the subject, so you could try more "the thing itself" kind of a thing. i notice to run too many explaning words in a poem sends the reader away and not toward the feelings you are aiming at. gotta have a diamond edged crap detector. poetry doesnt explain, it empathizes.
running through(any noun), like water...sometime the simplist thing you can say can jump off the page.

imagism, ezra pound, HD, "the thing itself" pound. pounds ideas revolutionized american poetry, william carlos williams, simple concise ...
am i okay, i dont want to be too critical. your poems are good and mine are good, but together we can begin creating better, by being straight forward about our critique. mine as well as yours. we need a writing group,and not a "good poem good poem" group. i enjoyed reading this poem.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I love this. It has the feeling of a well read book, or a favorite pair of jeans, comfortable in the knowing and well suited for the wear. Great stuff.

[Jonhoi Vaughn]

This is quite enigmatic to me. I understand that that it is a thirst after a long missed yet unfamiliar feeling. There is a very keen sense of softness and a sinking feeling of frustration. Very emotive. I like this ^_^

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

you are a beautiful woman with such beautiful words, i always enjoy what you write! x0x0x00x

[Paladin4life]

Thank you for enering my contest. I enjoyed your poem! I love this genre so much! I love hearing about true love, romance, and passion! Thanks again for entering!

[Vanessa Whiteley]

This is quite haunting. I love the repetition of the first line. And the end is so tender. A lovely poem.