road to nowhere

it had to go somewhere

Can you see my brain waves

travelling serpentine through dark hills?

Can you marvel at the speed my mind maneuvers

through meticulous labyrinths?

Can you see the dark clouds forming

on the horizons of understanding

as I try to draw pictures of the visions

I still see?

Or do you point out fuzzy dryer lint clouds

on the edges of obscurity?

My words fail again.

And you blink and pile judgments

around our feet

as if to sort through obstruction.

And I don't know what to do

with the frustration that surrounds me.

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

I like the subtle rhyming that appears in the second half "see...obscurity...feet...me" [oh, and the internal "obstruction...frustration].
This is an interesting piece; it's requiring a fair bit of analysis and figuring for me to comprehend it. I'm enjoying the challenge. Is it about the struggle to articulate your thoughts? Or someone who criticises your writing? Or someone who praises it, not getting that you haven't conveyed "the visions" yet?
Hmm.

"Or do you point out fuzzy dryer lint clouds
on the edges of obscurity?" - they're paying attention to the wrong bit?

Good piece Emily. I still don't have it figured - but not in the bad way; despite being a little out of my reach, I can still savour the language and images, and relate to the overall tone.

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

its funny, that's what I most contemplate,
does he see me, or any one?
and just when i think they got a glimpse, nay, ----great write, ---mishy

[The Flawed]

As always your writing is brilliant, and you never disappoint.
This is another great poem.
Well done.

[a donkey, briefly]

I just wrote a collaboration for this..it just sort of spilled out of me. Hope that's ok.

[:)]

I think this is beautiful.

[stubbornpen]

I love the way the title and the end of the poem give each other more meaning. This is very well constructed. I love all the movement empasized throughout the beginning. The brain waves travel, the mind manuevers, dark clouds form, the poem is fluid, and flows with the use of the similar language. And then at "My words fail", the emotions of the reader hit the barrier at the same time the speaker does. I love that. And the word "obstruction" coupled with the speakers confusion at what to do with his/her confusion reinforces the title as well. Beautiful.

[Ed Hart]

catharsis, I hope. You are so well recognized and embraced by so many that this one is just dust fading into yesterday...

[Doctor JKC]

That dryer lint must be collected after each use
or you will start an inferno!

Your words never fail me.

hugs, Jack

[Collect-Eye]

there's ironically quite a bit of focus and composure here..and clarity

any element of self-doubt is just a reflection of something else, but we'll get to that soon.

at the risk of sounding obscure...

[Mandi]

You're a good writer. I would try to make this poem more clear though. I didn't understand barely any of it. Keep trying though! and i think you're a good writer!!!!
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)::):):):) SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!