just so

The lines of reality blur
When I'm with you
I'm shaking on the inside
I fear you will
see
       What I deny
(As you gently trace your fingertips up and down my thigh)

This isn't what it was
Supposed to
be
     A lie
(Crawling in bed with a stranger)

I show you what I want you
To perceive - tiny parts
Of
me
(Time passes and more is expected)

Scattered - here and there
Reflections of times
Long past in my history

I leave out what I can
Spare you from
Empathizing with
darkness
is better left

Unfelt