Sleep... (Not a cloud but a wave)

This is what my mind does when I try to sleep...

Not a cloud but a wave,

The tide washing in on my thoughts,

Leaving me drowsy and relaxed,

Breathing steady. Calm.

The fog that overtakes my mind,

Sweeps away the days sorrows.

Creating wave of desires. Dreams.

Letting go of inhibitions,

Imaging everything you want. Need.

Time distorts as the sweet blackness turns out the lights...

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

While reading this, trying to think what would be something i would consider to mirror it. The first song and I hope it does not seem cheesy, but it is my sign of respect. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQOaLP-qPmk

The flow was damn near 'Sail on sailor' and the line
"The fog that overtakes my mind,
Sweeps away the days sorrows."
just screamed the song, I like this, and to a guitar and bass, would make a nice slow song.

[Archia]

Ah sweet sleep. I really like how this poem described the reaching of sleep and dreams. It had a flow to it, that was both in the structure and in the way the poem moved on. Great poem.

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

The fog that overtakes my mind,
Sweeps away the days sorrows.

..........very nice poem. it takes me the place of calm atmosphere. quite natural one. with wishes.

[Distant horizons]

Lovely. Last line is perfect.

[Tasha]

This is beautiful, wonderful write.

[Whiskurz]

This is a beautifully written piece.....Enjoyed.....Whisk