F**k Up

!!TW!! Suicide and Self Harm. There are always other, better options. Dont be afraid to ask for help or reach out to your local hotline.

It's like an itch

it's unbearable, you cant scratch what you feel inside

and this feeling says that I should write 

write on white paper, use a red pen

focus on how straight the lines are

because everything has to be perfect

you have to be better

you know you're not good enough

you fucked up you f**k up

feel the pain

you have to want to grab the knife

and make a sheath of your skin

your heart is like gold

you gotta reach it, mine it

dont stop digging till you feel it in your hand

the rubies so precious

but this is the gold rush

all the rubies, they fall around you

your hand is buried in them

but theyre not good enough either

you gotta get the gold

gotta prove that you can do it

but no matter how hard you try

you cant make it to it

cause every time you reach that point

the rubies flood down your arm

and the cave youve made collapses as the dead flesh gives way

you scream

pull back

what the f**k is wrong with you?

you cant even die right

just wait

youll get there

and then no one can say you failed at getting first place

circa 2013