Rosy

Monday morning can be hard on students.

Monday morning. American literature class. That semester we were studying John Steinbeck’s East of Eden. I had my back to the students and was writing this quote on the board, in my beautiful cursive hand (I’m not bragging. I do have a beautiful handwriting. Can’t you tell?):

“There’s more beauty in truth, even if it is dreadful beauty.”

I put a full stop and, beaming, turned around to face my motley crew. This is the disheartening picture that confronted me:

Ten disinterested and tired-looking boys and girls. I saw nineteen bleary eyes. Yes, nineteen. Do you think I can’t count? At that very moment, “Dirty” Harry was winking at his girlfriend who was on the point of swooning. I have no idea why he was called Dirty Harry. I never asked. Mark Shwartzenneger (no relation whatsoever to the famous beekeeper) had his hand under the desk, probably thinking I was not on to him texting on his mobile phone. Fred Brighton, aptly nicknamed “Fred the Ferret” had his index finger up his nose and was diligently foraging for some.. well you got the picture. I know it’s gross. Do you think I’m happy having him there, day in day out? Betty Callaghan, the Barbie doll of the class, had a hand mirror in her hand and was checking her make-up. Mildred Burk was vehemently chewing gum as if her life depended on it. N’dongo Bongalono, a recent transfer from Nigeria, was muttering under his breath, probably singing as I could see a white wire snaking out of his ear and into his breast pocket. Next to him was Stephen Queen. Yeah, I know, what are the odds? His thin lips were pinched around a straw and he was eagerly sucking from what looked like a coke can. Right behind Stephen, Bart “the Bard”, the class poet, was unsuccessfully trying to hide his tablet. I was sure he was on face book, chatting to one of his girlfriends. And last but not least, right at the back of the class, reclining against the wall, eyelids drooping and bags under his eyes, was the jokester of the class, the one and only Billy Shears. I have to admit he’s my favourite. He’s always ready for a laugh and quick on the uptake. Had it not been for him, I would probably have abandoned this lot to the next hapless teacher that was willing to take them. 

One of Billy’s numerous funny quips that comes to mind is this. One day he arrived in class ten minutes late. When I told him he should’ve been here at 8, he replied: “Why? What happened?”

That Monday morning, wanting to instill some life in them, I told them:

“Guys, looks like you spent last night partying. You look like death warmed up. Come on! Wakey, wakey! Let me tell you what I did this morning. I woke up at 6, ran my daily two miles, had a hearty breakfast then took a shower and felt rosy all over.”

From the back of the class, came Billy Shears’s voice:

“Tell us more about Rosy.” 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a great story! I love your real-to-life descriptions of each of your motley crew! I loved the pace at which you described the bunch, like that was the story in itself (which it was, to a large extent!) Your observations are so well made & expressed, that's why this is a memorable read. And then the twist is set up nicely & delivered with ease! *smile*

[Woody]

I made small changes to this one before sending it to Amazon. I should've done the same thing here but.. sloth is a deadly sin :(
thanks a lot B. for your continued encouragement. glad you enjoyed it.

[barleygirl]

I'm getting to the point in life where I can no longer remember what all I've written & where I've posted or published it, so it's hard to keep track of updates anymore. It is what it is! *smile*

[Shannon]

Meandering path through a rich environment. Ending with a delightfully riske joke.

[Woody]

I've had quite a few characters in my classes but none as colourful as the ones I present here.
read moreI've had quite a few characters in my classes but none as colourful as the ones I present here.
I wish I'd had this particular class, though :)
thanks a lot for dropping in S.

[Tristan Nesvilla]

haha this is hilarious. I love these stories that people pull from their lives. Great story!

[Woody]

thanks a lot Tristan. yes, isn't life stranger than fiction, sometimes?

[Roderick Blakeman]

The one and only Billy Shears... plagiarism at its best.

A great short story, very descriptive and a nice working of the punch line.

Lennon and McCartney would be proud of their characters rebirth.

[Woody]

thanks again Roderick. and rather than plagiarism, I like to think of it as tribute to my favourite band. I'm glad you saw the "Billy Shears" bit. nobody else has commented on it (!)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahahahah oh my you have such a unique style of writing.This is so great it made me laugh so hard :)

[Woody]

oh Vidya! you made my day!! thank you, dear. I'm elated that you liked it.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Your writing reminds me so much of my friend's Daniel.You both are so great at what you do.You are welcome and I doubt you could write anything that I would not like.You are an absolute pleasure to read :)

[Woody]

(blush blush blush) is Daniel a writer?

[Vidya Bacchus]

Yes he is but he hasn't been on for a while .He is very busy paying the bills lol.You might like his writing his name is Daniel Sala :)

[Woody]

thank you I'll look him up.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Mockingbird]

this was such a funny story. i love the way you flesh out these characters. you can sympathize with the teacher and get the scenario from his perspective, who is a little amused himself. i like the way you run a little commentary like dramatic asides on stage. billy shears is an intelligent individual as can be seen in his wry humor. loved it.

[Woody]

thank you so much MB. glad you found it funny :)

[roarke]

yeah, E.... tell us more about Rosy......
A classroom is a perfect example of imminent pandemonium at the drop of a hat. Nuclear fission would be easier to handle. If the class is crazy, the teacher needs to be crazier. I liked the individual sculpts here, sets up the punchline, but more still, sets the ground for a nice conflict and resolution. The movie "To Sire With Love" comes fondly to mind.

[Woody]

a fine girl indeed. all hills and valleys :)
you're right certain classrooms are exactly that. though the story is entirely born of my own twisted imagination, I still cherish a certain number of gems from my days as teacher.
thanks for the visit, Bill.

[Marie]

Congratulations. You found a way to get their attention.

[Woody]

haha. yes, at least the attention of the Smart Alack.

[Woody]

Aleck, sorry

[Marie]

Well, if youthink about it, the useds of the word "Alack" is rather neat.