Limericks (collection)

well, just limericks.

I-                                  slaughty * limerick

 

 * slightly naughty 

 

A very old couple from Philly

Were forced to walk belly to belly

They mistook the glue

For K Y, it’s true

They’re now at the Doc’s, looking silly

 

 

II " The girl from Warsaw

 

 what were you doing in the tool shed, anyway?

 

Once a heedless girl from Warsaw

Went and Sat on a circular saw

Now, that's a disaster

For it sure dis-arsed ‘er

The medic couldn’t believe what he saw 

 

III  -  Woodworm

 

 

A cute little woodworm from Milan

Who eats as much wood as he can

He came from afar

To his favourite bar

Said is the bar tender here, my man?

 

IV- Greek

I once met a beautiful young Greek

Whose nose was as long as a beak

It was awfully quicker

And so much slicker

T’ go round her back.. t’ kiss the other cheek

 

V- Poison

 

A man has the craziest chick

He decides to poison her quick

Once his mind'S made

He takes out a blade

And caref’lly gives ‘er arsenic

 

VI- York

 

 

A pregnant young woman from York

Plugged up her chimney with cork

Said I don’t want to

See it down the flue

When Baby is brought by the stork

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Most definitely love "Greek" best . . . they DO have beaks & the ending is imaginative & funny. I'm a little queasy about "Warsaw", with gore & intimacy & humor all packed together! I also like "York" - very imaginative! Your mind works in mysterious ways. If I thought some of these things, I think I might hide it! *smile*

[Woody]

oh no I'd never hide them. I want everybody to join in the fun :)
to be honest I'm surprised that the one who wrote not-so-innocent poems (wink wink) would prefer the less graphic limericks.
I thought God worked in mysterious ways!!!
thanks a lot Dear. always a pleasure to make you smile.

[barleygirl]

It's not the sexual innuendo that I find hard to cuddle up to . . . it's the macabre parts . . . but I'm trying to open up my tastes, little by little (as evidenced by my recent story of fried bits).

[Woody]

exactly my point! :)

[barleygirl]

You make me smile every day (((HUGS)))

[Woody]

that thing right back atcha.

[Marie]

I believe I've read all fut the last of these, which I can't relly understand, though I've read it three times.

[Woody]

hi marie. I think you've read them all. the last one you helped me fix the scan!! the last line was off kilter.
I was under the impression that the old belief said that the baby was dropped down the chimney flue. or am I wrong? see, this does not exist in our folklore.

[Marie]

No, the doctor brings the baby in his black bag; everyone knows that.

[Woody]

yes but what about the stork?

[Marie]

I know the myth, but most people don't have chimneys now. Babies also come out of cabbages if anyone cares to grow them. I don't.

[Ana D S M]

I great little dose of humour! I loved the first one best!

[Woody]

thanks a lot Lilith. glad you enjoyed this one :)

[Ana D S M]

You're very welcome.