A Deal with the Devil

my girl has left me. only one way to get her back.

When my girl left me all alone

And refused to return my calls

Sobbing, with my hand on the phone,

Distraught and fit to climb walls

 

When I woke up in the morning

Finding the bed empty and mute

Abandoned without a warning

And no coffee maker to boot

 

 

I locked myself inside the room

Summoned the Master posthaste

Talked about my impending doom

And how there’s no time to waste

 

“If you don’t bring back my lover”

I said to Satan point-blank

“No more drinks, no drugs, ever”

No women, I must be frank

 

I’ll go to church, forsake my sins

Confess, repent and pray, too

I’ll stay in with the penguins

And do their hullabaloo

 

In a blink, Jean was at the door

Sorry, contrite, eyes downcast,

Coffee maker on the floor,

Her clothes, she shed real fast

Reviews

[barleygirl]

As always, you've twisted all the tired trite statements of love, faith, & life. Of course, why didn't I think about pleading with the devil, that I would give up all my bad habits? You are brilliant in your silliness. And the coffeemaker . . . that was the clencher. Oh how my life would be ruined if someone ran off with my coffeemaker!!!!! I just love these true-to-life touches popping out all over your writing.

(Did you steal "hullabaloo" from my frog poem? I'm going to have you arrested . . . your writing so arrests me!)

[Woody]

I'm having a field day :) thanks a ton, B. glad you liked it. incidentally, I don't even know if I've read "frog". I'm going to check it out. I wouldn't dreeeeam of stealing from you :)

[several thousand]

That's one way of doing it I suppose.
Just hope Jean doesn't read this.
Her deal could be an interesting one.
Then off she'd whisk for good. (and with the coffee maker)
Great poem. Wicked rhyme.

[Woody]

I'm over the moon when real poets praise my "poems". there's hope still. thank you Poet Face.
yes you're right about Jean. rumour has it that the devil is no match for certain women.

[several thousand]

Real poets? haha. That's good.
Most welcome. Any time.

[Solar]

Now that's devilish:

'No women, I must be frank'

and then Jean returns and strips
and the coffee-maker broken? ['on the floor']

Poor poet got no coffee and a jeanless/jean that he can't gene!

[Woody]

haha that's a review I like. thanks a lot Solar. Jean's not important. I got my coffee maker back, albeit broken. and yeah, Jean was alright. I could hear the devil snickering in the room.

[Solar]

as they say...the best lines and last laugh nicked :D

[Cathy Wattam]

This made me smile. Especially the ending. I do love a humorous poem. Thanks for sharing this. Hope Jean was worth it!

Cathy :)

[Woody]

thanks a bunch Cathy. glad it made you smile (I can see that)
Jean is secondary. I got my Mr Coffee back. Halleluya!

[Tom]

As they say "the devils in the detail"....

Ironic indeed Woody, I reckon when Jean quickly realised that old devil just hasn't your stamina or joie de vie, he wasn't worth the bother and back she came...coffee et all !

A cracker indeed Woody, I see you still on top of your game my man !!

[Woody]

thank you very much Tom, my friend. you know, that's a very interesting take on the poem. but it makes me wonder if that's the idea I idea that transpires for everyone. it could've been just that. but this is my intention: my girlfriend left me. maybe for another guy. I blackmail the devil, knowing he's all powerful. bring back my girl or you lose a disciple.
please tell me, have I messed up somehow?
thanks heaps again for stopping by. been keeping an eye on your page. you haven't written anything lately, have you?

[Tom]

I tried to answer you back last night but the site seem to go into meltdown ?

No Woody you story is fun and well articulated and reads exactly as you state, I was putting a different spin on it, I was thinking of that great song by Kris Kristofferson, ' Beat the devil ' when I commented, after all, it's not an easy task !

[Woody]

Gotcha :) yeah the site crashed here, too. and again this morning. GRRR!! frustrating when you need your fix.

[Tom]

Sure is Woody!

[Daydreamer]

I made a few deals with the devil myself ironically enough positive forces were behind those biddings. This was both brilliant and unique as it offered a different perspective.

[Woody]

I usually don't meddle with the dark forces but when I lost both my girl AND the coffee machine, I had to do something about it :)
thank you so much Daydreamer. I'm elated you liked this one.

[Troy Henson]

Enjoyed this. Why do the obvious to bring back a lost love. Hell yeah.....pardon the pun:) As usual when I read your poetry there is a mixture of truth and always some humour. Loved it.

[Woody]

Hey Troy! we don't see much of you these days. hope everything's fine.
thank you very much my friend. always a pleasure to see you enjoy my writes.

[kashaw]

Maybe I should have a word with Satan LOL, I will read more when I get a chance, I am new to this site and still trying to find my way around, Why don't you pop by sometime to read some of my work :) x K.

[Woody]

with pleasure kashaw and welcome to the site. thank you very much for stopping by.

[Robert Vicens]

Interesting. Praying to Satan to bring back his lover... That's different.

[Woody]

Damn, looks like my comment to your review has disappeared. don't even remember what I've written. thank you very much anyway. I hope you saw the funny side of the poem.

[Robert Vicens]

I liked it. Definitely liked it. I left a short review because I was short on time and wanted to get through a couple more stories. The most interesting part about your character who prays to the devil is how fresh the idea is, and in line with the kind of characters I like to play with in my horror stories. I think, my friend, I might borrow or steal that kind of character for one of my stories some day.

;)

[Samuel Dickens]

Penguins? Oh, I don't know--there peckers are awful dangerous. Perhaps Old Scratch would let you do that hullabaloo thing with a family of platypuses instead.

[Woody]

haha there you go again!!! oh I don't know. the importaant thing is the blackmail paid off. try it.
first time I hear nuns have peckers!