A Deal with the Devil

my girl has left me. only one way to get her back.

When my girl left me all alone

And refused to return my calls

Sobbing, with my hand on the phone,

Distraught and fit to climb walls

 

When I woke up in the morning

Finding the bed empty and mute

Abandoned without a warning

And no coffee maker to boot

 

 

I locked myself inside the room

Summoned the Master posthaste

Talked about my impending doom

And how there’s no time to waste

 

“If you don’t bring back my lover”

I said to Satan point-blank

“No more drinks, no drugs, ever”

No women, I must be frank

 

I’ll go to church, forsake my sins

Confess, repent and pray, too

I’ll stay in with the penguins

And do their hullabaloo

 

In a blink, Jean was at the door

Sorry, contrite, eyes downcast,

Coffee maker on the floor,

Her clothes, she shed real fast

Reviews

[barleygirl]

As always, you've twisted all the tired trite statements of love, faith, & life. Of course, why didn't I think about pleading with the devil, that I would give up all my bad habits? You are brilliant in your silliness. And the coffeemaker . . . that was the clencher. Oh how my life would be ruined if someone ran off with my coffeemaker!!!!! I just love these true-to-life touches popping out all over your writing.

(Did you steal "hullabaloo" from my frog poem? I'm going to have you arrested . . . your writing so arrests me!)

[Woody]

I'm having a field day :) thanks a ton, B. glad you liked it. incidentally, I don't even know if I've read "frog". I'm going to check it out. I wouldn't dreeeeam of stealing from you :)

[Jimmy Yetts]

Skillfully written; tightly rhymed.
Don't try this in real life, Woody, your "girl" will end up being Bruce Jenner in drag.
An amusing notion you carried off extremely well, my friend!

[Woody]

haha no Bruce Jenner for me. I'd make a second deal and ask Satan to take her back.
thank you very much Frankie. praise from a real poet means a lot.

[Marie]

This is really funny; it made me laugh. A different way of making a deal with Satan...

[Woody]

thanks loads Marie. I knew for certain that what Satan fears most is losing a disciple.