White Raven

A song I thought of making. I may... I may not... I have no idea.

I remember seeing you

Your emotions were all bottled up

Hiding underneath the façade of a smile

And your arms were covered in fabrics

Hiding all your pain and scars

My heart broke away

 

Just remember baby

I'll always to listen to what you say

Just come and find me baby

I'll take all of your pain away

With a white raven

Flying towards the sky

 

I remember approaching you

My hands were nervous

And so was my heart

But I asked if you were ok

And you ran away

 

Just remember baby

I'll always to listen to what you say

Just come and find me baby

I'll take all of your pain away

With a white raven

Flying towards the sky

 

Towards the sky

The lights flicker like a dancing doe

And they remind me of you

When you would sing to yourself

And I would cry

 

Just remember baby

I'll always to listen to what you say

Just come and find me baby

I'll take all of your pain away

With a white raven

Flying towards the sky

 

I'll take all of your pain away

With a white raven

Flying towards the sky

A white raven, yeah

A white raven, yeah

A white raven

Flying towards the sky

 

Reviews

[melril18]

Truly something special right here. Would love to hear this set to music.

[Marasu4L]

Magnificent

[♪Barklight♪]

That. is. beautiful!

[cartera]

Definitely a song, and a good one. Only thing I would say is alter the first line of the third: drop the word approaching: awkward and maybe one syllable too many that upsets the rhythm.
ATB
Alex.

[The Jay]

Made me want to grab my guitar and sing it on random chords. Really catchy.
I am sort of an anti-romantic so I read it without "baby". Haha.

[DemitriJ]

wow thats amazing... i absolutely love it!!! the chours is deffinately my favorite part. i almost started crying while reading it, it was so beautiful!

[timmmmmmsardga]

I really want to cry - it touches deep with me. It really does. Thank you for suggesting I read it. You did a brilliant job, as always.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this poem. A lot of positive hope and desire in the words. I like the flow of thoughts and the use of the white raven. It would be good music. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Leslie Philibert]

This is a good poem, with some really astounding lines. I love
And your arms were covered in fabrics....exactly the right image for someone hiding scars, a great line, and the lights flicker like a dancing doe is great too.So I found some great lines here, good work.

[Brittany]

I liked this. I like the idea of this kind of love and caring. Nice flow and word choices.